The dream the hate

The dream the hate part nine!!!

Chapter nine

Brianna's p.o.v

The night lingered it ugly head as everyone left the house. "Brianna are you sure you can't come?" My mother asked I kissed her check and told her I am positive and don't let me spoil there night. Everyone quickly left and went off to dinner and to see some play I really didn't know the name to. I waited on my coach. Three knocks.. Three knocks was I needed to get what I wanted. I waited and looked at the clock it told me the time was 8:50. Justin was suppose to be here 20 minutes ago but maybe he was running a little late. That's what I told my self.

I lied on my coach petting my green furry p.j pants and snuggling into my sweatshirt. I glanced at the clock that the clock was lying to me. It said 9:50. An hour has rolled by and Justin didn't come. Justin didn't show. Justin stood me up. I begun to cry and I got up and ran to my room. Even my bright yellow blanket didn't help the dark gray feeling that hallowed my body. I closed my eyes. Crying long and hard with snotty tears my face turning a bright white and my heart a cold blue. I thought sleeping would clear my mind.

But I had forgotten about the dream the both of us shared. I sat by the tree were him and I giggled and he played the guitar to me. But at last Justin wasn't sleeping for I was by the empty tree staring at the color sky with twist and turns or pink and yellow. The tall grass had a sweet sent I couldn't describe that made me want more. I bet it tickled the sky and the pink was the giggles it was getting. I was wearing what I feel a sleep in. Which I didn't understand. "Bri!" Someone yelled. I knew who it was and I turned the other cheek. "Bri please listen! I wasn't ready" Justin told me was I hear him fall to his knees. "You could have called." I whispered as my teeth began to crunch and hurt.

"Call you and hurt you! Baby your dying!" I turned to him his eyes crying out to me. "I know what is happing to me" I could barley talk between the gasp of air that seemed harder and harder to find. 'You think I don't know? You think I want to die?!? I rather be living my life than worrying about you! You rejecting me. Standing me up! Thought you were better than that but your just a low life like every other guy in this whole damn world!" I wanted to run but my legs didn't move I wanted to smack the day lights out of Justin but that frozen frightened feeling over took my body. He really proved to me that death was rising in me. It's been killing my since I was one years old.

I didn't want Kait to give up what she has for me. I didn't want my mom to worry about me and scared that I wont make it through the night. I couldn't get close to anyone so why was I letting my self grow to Justin. I didn't want to. I didn't need to but I wanted to. Why did I crave this self centered pop star? Why do I talk such shit about him but want to marry him I didn't understand my life. A tear ran down my cheek and as soon as it left made a puddle into a lake that began to rise.

The goal was to drown Justin for breaking my heart. For hurting me. I would feel good until he felt bad. Until he felt worst for hurting the dying girl! I'm nothing but a dying girl! That's it and he wanted me for he would have me for long. I began to cry harder and louder making sure Justin stayed away. As far away from me as possible. I didn't want to see him. He gave me a awful feeling. How can I love my life when I know that every moment was my last. As if there was a clock above my head telling everyone when my last breath was. When the last second of my day was.

"I want you gone Justin! Just.. Just dead and gone and I was you as far away from me as one person can get!" I cried I felt burning inside my eyes. I felt a broken heart open and leak every thought of love for Justin out. I wanted it to but I couldn't or better yet it wouldn't. Which made me want to grab his dirty blond hair and smack his face into a wall and..... And I can't hurt him. I can not hold all this anger against him. I'm the one dying, I'm the one loosing who I am. I wish it wasn't me but it is. Justin could not hold his breath much longer under the cold tear lake water.

I stopped crying and the lake dried up faster than it was formed. He looked at me not smiling or frowning just looked at me. I whipped my eyes. "I don't want this stupid dream world to be here anymore!" I told him. Just grasped his breath and walked over to me. He gave me and hug and rubbed my back. That made me smile a little. I hugged back. I didn't care if I was angry at him I felt right in his arms. I felt like I belonged there and if I couldn't than who could. He is famous and will shortly move on after me. "There will be no after you." He kissed my cheek as if he could hear my thoughts. "I want you to get married though Justin... have kids live your life." He sat down bring me down onto his lap.

"I will.. But I will not love her like I love you.. We are soul make Bri nothing can change that and she will just replace the whole that will stain my heart." I sat there and thought. "You should put that into a song." He laughed and we just sat there like normal people would do. But that thing was Justin and I weren't normal. We probably don't even like the same type of books. I guess that's what I liked. I like how he treated me like I'm special and that I am more than a dying girl. He likes me because I treat him like every other guy. I wanted to tell him I love him well again but I was awakened by Gracelyn yelling about something I didn't know until she had tears in her e