The Devil Haunts Me [Buzzfeed Unsolved]

Interlude vii

The next morning when Shane spares a glance outside their hotel room he's greeted with the sight of a thick fog. It's almost eerily blank as he strains himself to see through the blanket of white around him.

The rough fabric of the curtains brushing his palms as he sweeps his eyes over the mono-tone landscape before him. Behind him he can hear Ryan fiddling with the last of their bags, the sound cutting through the tranquil of the early morning silence.

"looks like that's the last of it" Ryan huffs, dropping his suitcase by the door with a dull thud.

Turning, Shane abandons his stance by the window to join the smaller man. "so where to now?" He queries.

Ryan's face flushes in embarrassment, hands fiddling with the draw-string of his hoodie. "well I don't exactly have any solid cases researched at the moment" he admits bashfully. "so I was just thinking that we could perhaps spend some time looking at some more touristy areas while I finish up writing the script for the final episode of the season?"

"who are you and what have you done with Ryan?" Shane dead-pans, a teasing hint to the grin he sends the smaller man.

"shut up, Shane"

Chuckling Shane watched in silent amusement as Ryan levels an assessing look over their hotel room. "but... there is one case that's been on my mind"

"well don't leave me hanging, buckaroo, spill the deets"

"there's this case in the northwest region of Sydney, the Hawkesbury river to be exact" Ryan reveals, a thoughtful crease to his brow as he looks back at Shane.

"so why not there? If there's a case that wont leave your thoughts then what better a scenario for a season finale?"

The grin Ryan levels his way doesn't fail to bring a sense of fondness rising within his chest. The image sears into the forefront of Shane's mind as his mood begins to plummet, for would the other look at him like this again if he knew that Shane had been lying to him all this time?

"you might be on to something Madej" Ryan banters back, oblivious to Shane's thoughts.

"i might be" he murmurs absently in reply.

He follows the other out the hotel on auto-pilot, standing back reserved with their bags as he watches Ryan deal with paying and signing out their room. Its not long until Ryan is back by his side, tilting his head to the side in a silent 'lets go' motion. The air that greets them as they enter the hotel carpark is dewey with the fog that still lingering in the air. Shane deals with their bags sliding them into the boot of their rent-car as Ryan climbs his way into the driver's seat.

"i feel like i'm in the middle of some indie horror movie" Ryan confessed as Shane finally joins him in the front.

"don't worry" Shane soothes, lips twitching upwards in amusement at his next words. "between the two of us i'm the stereotypical white guy who he gets killed off in the first act"

//////////////////

The weather doesn't improve at all by the time they've hit the road again, with their rent-car's headlights struggling to cut through the fog which had settled into an almost blanket like coverage over the region.

The low hum of the car's engine is the only sound between them as they cruise along the highway. Before him, the faint cherry glow of tail-lights cuts through the fog separating them from the world around them. He can't help but feel that its just them for once, alone together in a way he hadn't felt for so long.

His heart yearns for it- to be alone with just Ryan. To hold him close and feel the other's lips against his without a care in the world. There's a stone in his chest as he spares a glance towards his companion, taking in how Ryan's brow is drawn together in concentration as he focuses on the road before them.

How had he done it? How had he willingly kissed Ricky when Ryan had poured his heart out to him so earnestly?

He can feel tears prick at his eyes as he glances away, eyes sliding shut to get the image out his mind. Guilt churns in his chest like a raging sea, crashing like the tide slams into the rocks in a storm. Maybe he really was destined to the shadows? For what kind of person would disregard another's feelings so readily? Not a good one that's for sure...

"Ryan" the name escapes his lips involuntarily, leaving a bitter after-taste as he says it. "do you think people-" he flounders for a moment, voice catching. "that people who do unforgivable things can be redeemed?"

He can feel the weight of the other's gaze over his skin but for the life of him can't make himself meet the other's eye, to scared to see something in them, to see gold reflected back at him. The pause between his question seems to crawl painfully, he's hyperaware of it's crawl almost as much as the way his heart hammers in his chest.

"i think..." there's a thoughtful pause before Ryan continues and Shane feels that he can breathe again. "i think it depends if they are truly sorry for what they've done"

And thats the catch isn't it? For no matter how guilty he feels over it he's not truely sorry is he? Deep down he doesn't regret kissing the other demon. As much as he doesn't want to admit it to himself, he's already in to deep. Ricky Goldsworth had gotten under his skin and he found that they fit together like some sort of twisted puzzle.

"what's brought this on?" Ryan questions softly, voice void of any judgement. "I feel like you've been off all morning"

Now thats the million dollar question... if he could just find it in himself to just confess, to speak up on all the thoughts running around his head. Perhaps he'd finally be free from Ricky's iron grip and be able to go back to how it was before the other demon had waltzed into his life and thrown everything into disarray.

"i have been off lately... look I don't know how to tell you this Ryan but i-" he chokes on the words as he tries desperately to open-up. He's so close to saying it, feeling like it's just them with the world around them a flat dream-like grey. It's like it's only Ryan in focus- everything else a blur; irrelevant.

Then- suddenly as he looks at Ryan's profile, brown eyes staring forward to the road before them that Shane can't help but wonder what it would be like to have not Ryan but Ricky before him in this moment, doing unsolved with him.

"but what?" Ryan prods gently, his soft smile blinding like the sun.

Shane's heart drops in turn as he ponders the shift in priorities his mind has shown him of late. His smile he aims to be reassuring feels hollow as he sends it the other's way. "but I... I just feel like I don't say I love you enough" The words that fall from his lips leaves him with a bitter aftertaste, especially when he wonders what Ricky would think of this situation.

It was Ricky fucking Goldsworth that got him in this mess in the first place... and Shane bitterly wished the demon would rot in hell for the upheaval the other had caused in pretty much every aspect of his unholy life.