It All Started With a Diary

truth|part 1

Kade chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. "I told him to kiss my ass, pulled the pocketknife on him, and every damn thing between until he threw an offer at me. He offered me a job at some type of gym, and I immediately rejected. But then, he mentioned the pay. It was more than enough to cover Kacen's babysitting, food, and shit like that. That was all that mattered in my eyes. So, I told him I'd think about it."

I wondered where this part of the story would lead to, but I knew that it always fell somewhere in the puddle. I wouldn't interrupt until I learned every ounce of truth he was willing to lend.

"I thought over it that same night. I'd heard my dad yelling at Susie, so I got up. I didn't want to help her. She never did it for me. But, she was my mom," his jaw clenched under my stare. "I tried to cut in. I was a bit bigger now, so I could handle myself a little better than before. We were pushing each other, and he stumbled from the alcohol. He fell on top of Kacen, who was trying to stop our dad from hitting me. He was as small as shit, so when our dad fell on him, he broke Kacen's arm, and made him hit his head on the counter."

My fingers curled around my mouth as I tried to hold back a gasp. I wanted to hug him. To tell him that everything would be alright, in a sense. But, I wasn't sure if I could, because they hadn't. He was talking in past tense for a reason. The things he endured in his early life had all ended into a troubling, traumatic bomb.

Kade's expression darkened as he spoke, "I was angry. Fucking furious. I hit him, as hard as I could. With the pan, with the fridge door, with my fists, anything. He was too drunk to get the upper hand. If Susie hadn't pulled me off of him, I wouldn't have stopped until I killed him. I couldn't let him take the only happy, the only good thing that I had."

"The fucker had stopped moving, but I just...kept going. I was relentless, drunk on rage. But, it all went away once Susie threatened to send me to an institution. I thought she was trying to scare me, to try and get me to calm down, but I wasn't too sure. Either way, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't leave my brother alone with either of them."

He raked a hand through his hair. "The next morning, I skipped school and went to the job offer. When I walked in, a part of me knew that it couldn't have been a regular gym. There was a large mat right in the center, naked bodies everywhere, drugs that I couldn't even pronounce, and these two men were fighting. By their faces, I knew that this wasn't some little kid wrestling game."

I sat up, straining my ears so that I wouldn't miss a thing.

"I found the man who had driven me home, except he was different. He seemed far more serious and way less talkative."

"I was scared as shit when they forced me onto the mat. Imagine my fucking shock when I saw the same boy from the park, except he was pissed. I didn't know what to do. So, I just stood there."

Kade shook his head, his brown eyes shifting over to me for a second. "Which was one of the worst fucking mistakes of my life." A chuckle fell from him.

"He started beating me until I grew the balls to get my ass up and fight back. It was hard at first. I wasn't as motivated as I was before, but I found something else that helped. My anger." he rubbed at his temples as the memories continued to float in. "I imagined my dad's face, and something flipped inside of me. I could only guess it was the little humanity I had left. I started beating on the fucker, until the man from before lifted me off of him. Even then, I didn't want to stop."

"I hated admitting it at the time, but I felt...alive. It was like a rush of adrenaline before I even realized it was there," he explained, nibbling on his bottom lip. "Every time I swung, it was like a trance. And, it was the best feeling ever."