Worthless

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~I'm sure y'all have caught on by now but it's a Continued Flashback~

December 1, Wednesday

"Is there anyway to make them stop?" Hermione asked sadly. She had had multiple panic attacks only within a few days. She was constantly scared that she would get one in public or with Ron again. 

"Not really. I mean there's probably techniques for coping with them. You could also go to therapy, but I know you don't want to do that. There might be some kind of spell out there that could help, but I honestly don't really trust magic when it comes to my mental health. I don't know why, but I feel like it could totally mess me up," Myrtle explained. Myrtle's bathroom had become Hermione's safe-haven. She went there usually after panic attacks or just when she felt like she needed someone to talk to. Myrtle had stopped crying constantly. Now, she was less sensitive and more grounded. 

"Honestly, me too. Magic mixed with mental health sounds like it would turn my brain to mush." Hermione and Myrtle laughed softly. "Myrtle, I know we've probably already talked a little about this, but how did you get through it? The panic attacks and bullying and everything?" Myrtle thought for a moment. 

"I didn't," she stated firmly. Hermione tilted her head.

"What?" Hermione asked. Myrtle sighed. 

"I didn't really get through it. I tried to get through it on my own, but it was too much for me to handle. I felt trapped like I couldn't get help from someone. I felt like I'd be a burden to others. Looking back on it, though, I realized I should've gotten help. I needed someone to talk to, someone who would really care and try to help me. Even though there might've been people who wouldn't listen, there's always someone out there who loves you. There's always someone who is willing to help. You just need to look." Hermione smiled. 

"That's really nice, Myrtle. I'm sure there was someone who could've helped you," Hermione stated. Myrtle smiled sadly.

"I wasn't only giving advice to myself, Hermione," Myrtle replied. Hermione furrowed her eyebrows.

"What do you- oh," Hermione said softly. She sighed and shook her head. 

"I can do this on my own. I'm strong enough," Hermione muttered, though it sounded like she was trying to convince herself instead of Myrtle. Myrtle shook her head. 

"Trust me, Hermione, you don't want to do what I did. If you do, you'll look back and wish you had done this differently. So take my advice, please." Hermione nodded sadly. She ran her hands through her hair. 

"I think I should go. Thank you for listening to me," Hermione murmured as she stood and walked towards the door. "It really means a lot to me." Myrtle smiled sadly and waved goodbye. Hermione peeked through the door to make sure it was clear and then left. 

On Hermione's way back, she thought about what Myrtle had said. Maybe she should seek help. Maybe there really was someone who could make it better. But every time Hermione considered getting help, her own thoughts pushed back on her. 

'You shouldn't get help, people will hate you if they see the real you." 

'You're worthless. Who would want to help someone like you?'

'Why would anyone love you?'

'Do you really think you're friends would still like you?' 

Hermione's head swarmed with negative thoughts. She couldn't stop them from flooding her mind. She needed them to stop. She needed her mind to quiet down. She needed-

"-mione! Hermione!" Hermione's head whipped up. As she did this, she felt the tears slowly falling down her face. 

"My god, Hermione, are you alright?" 


Author's Note

Lol sorry for literally missing two updates without warning or explanation. I hurt my wrist and couldn't type for a little bit. It wasn't serious or anything, I just didn't want to push it to a point where it could be. Anyways please let my know if y'all enjoy the story! See you (hopefully lol) next Sunday! Kiss Kiss! 

(Also this chapter was very short sorry)

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