daybreak || minsung

Chapter 20

"Mm. They were stress dreams. Don't take that the wrong way — all my dreams are stress dreams. I was afraid that... we would never get closer. I was afraid you'd leave me, even before I had you."

"You always had me. My denial was no match for your wily charms."

"My wooing."

"NO!" he yelled, slamming his fist down on his own knee. I laughed until it was hard to breathe.

When I recovered, his eyes were on me, searching my face. I could tell he was somewhere else in his head.

"What's up?" I asked, still short of breath.

"Oh, nothing," he answered with a shrug. He kissed me slowly, rhythmically, as if our lips were one of his melodies. "I just love you."

I was in love with him. My love was like air — everywhere, filling my lungs, every gap, giving me life. I wanted to shout my love from the treetops and whisper it to the wind. I loved him with my entire being, my every cell and atom and every space between.

I couldn't quite communicate this to him. My heart was racing, head spinning — my chin bounced up and down wordlessly for a solid ten seconds. He watched me, looking more and more discouraged the longer I didn't respond.

"Sorry," I managed. "I forgot how to do words. I love you, too, Jisungie. I'm in love with you."

I watched as his face drained of worry and lit up like a swell of music. He wove his arms around my neck and hugged me with a little less caution than usual.

"You're my entire world, Minho," he whispered.

"I've loved you for so long," I countered.

He stroked my hair silently for a second, and then asked, "Since when?"

"Huh?"

He pulled back and looked me in the eye. "Since when have you loved me?"

"I thought we were just one-upping each other."

"I remember literally every single second I've been in love with you." His eyes were bright, his words slightly garbled with excitement. "When did you love me back?"

I pressed my lips together, searching my brain.

"Lift up that lamp and I'll show you," I said.

"You mean the lollipop I gave you?" he guessed.

"Er, yeah. How did you know that?"

"I saw it when you asked me to get your keys."

"Oh. Right." I hadn't thought of that. It was too late to be embarrassed. "You remember the lollipop?"

"Of course." He was gone for a quarter of a second, and then he was back with the lollipop in his hands. I smiled and snatched it from him.

"I fell in love with you around then," I told him, meeting his eyes. "You know, when I came to Forks, I... was in a weird place. I've never said this before, to anyone — but the whole thing with my mom, um, hurt. That she would actually let me go. That... she would rather be with Phil than me." My voice was cracking now, something old squeezing at the back of my throat. "So, when you gave me the lollipop... it was kind of like you were telling me you wouldn't leave."

"Oh," he whispered. "And I did leave you in the beginning. Like, a lot."

"You did. It sucked."

"I'm so sorry, Minho. I'll never leave you again, I swear."

I smiled, pecked him on the lips. It felt kind of good to say all that aloud. He hung his arms over my shoulders, scratching the back of my head. (I made a startlingly feline noise.)