Perfect (Boyf riends)

Chapter 11

((Trigger: suicidal talk/ self hatred/ self harm))

Jeremy's POV

I'm Gerard Canonico. You can also call me very disappointed that you didn't recognize me. 

Gerard Canonico? I don't even know-

Ok. Fine. You don't know who Gerard is. Let's  move on. We have to get to your little friend. Has he become more popular? A bit, Yes. But why him? 

Why him? What? I just want to make Michael feel better! That's all. I want our friendship back! We're just friends! You know that! 

Yes. I know many things, Jeremy. And let me ask you one question: what was that feeling in your stomach when you saw Michael hugging Richard?

I hesitate. I don't know...

I do. Ever think it would be jealousy?

Me? Jealous of Michael? 

Yes. Jeremy. Why do you feel bad about pushing him away?

Because I hurt him? 

No. Because you wanted it to but your instinct told you to pull away and you obeyed. Your instinct still sucks, Jeremy. You love him.

What? No, I don't! Please. Just help me make him feel better without any gay stuff ok? 

Jeez. Homophobic much? Fine. I'll help you with Michael.

I sigh. Thank you. Now: we need a plan. 

Michael's POV 

"He hates me. I know it. Thomas, he'll never love me. Why do I even try?" Finally, I could let my thoughts out. The thoughts that keep me up at night and keep me in bed, hiding on weekends. The thoughts that I realize are true.

"No, Mikey, he does love you." My throat burns. "No he does not! No one does." I hang up before he could say anything back. I slide the power button on my phone turning it all the way off. I'm right. No one loves me. I'm worthless. For the past couple of years my goal was Jeremy. Now. I know that goal is unreachable. I have nothing to live for. Nothing.

Why did i even try to make Jeremy like me? I knew deep down it wouldn't work! I must be too stupid to even notice. To stupid. Jeremy is never going to like me the way I like him. Why, he barely likes me as a friend! All those times doing video games together were fake. How did I not see it before?! 

Jeremy hates me now. I know he does. He won't ever forgive me and i'll be a loser forever. A loser alone. Before I didn't care if I was a loser. Because I had Jeremy. Now I know Jeremy doesn't want me so I am alone. I'll always be alone. Until the world ends and after. Always and forever. 

I'm worthless. 

Jeremy's POV 

I think you might want to hurry over to Michael's house before something bad happens. 

Something bad? Like what? Oh no...

Right. That could happen. So hurry over before it does go wrong. Convince Michael he is worth it. 

Anxiety and worry hits me as I realize how bad I had make Michael felt. I needed to get over to his house right now. I need to stop him. I raced down my stairs. "I'm going out. Be back soon," I c all to my dad as I slam open the door. With a bam, the door closes behind me and I sprint to Michael's. Gerard helps me to sprint fast. 

I make it to Michael's house and open the door, knowing no one burn Michael was home. Both Michael's moms worked until 12:00am each day and left to go back to work at 4:00 so neither of them ever saw their son. 

His room.

I nod and race up to Michael's room. I tried to door knob. It was locked so I banged on the door. "Michael? Please, let me in," I called through the door. "J-Jeremy?" Michael's voice. Thank god. "Let me in" I say again. "Why? Anything you say is a lie so i shouldn't bother even listening to you..." his voice sounded raspy and I knew he had been crying. 

"What do you mean?" I ask seeing Gerard nod. "You don't care about me. I know you don't." 

((Is listening to Two-player Game while writing this. Help)) 

I sigh. "Michael, I care about you so much. I love you, you're my best friend!" Gerard face palms and I look at me. What? He shakes his head. "No. Stop lying. You're making this worse," I hear his voice crack which makes me wince. He really was hurting. 

"Open the door and we can talk. Please..." Gerard smiles as we, or I, hear the door creak open. Michael's eyes were red with tears. His arm was behind his back. "Micha..." I say softly. He opens the door letting me in with Gerard following. 

Don't look at me if I say something. My previous form apparently did not tell you.

I nod my head in the slightest. My eyes stay on Michael as he walks back to his bed and sits down. He quickly pulls his hand out from his back and pulls down the sleeve of his red hoodie. Oh no. Mikey... 

"Why do you think all that stuff?" I ask softly. Michael looks up at me. "I..." 

Michael's POV 

I stare at Jeremy not knowing what to say. He... he was there. Did he care? No. No he didn't. He doesn't care. But- No! He's just here to make you feel worse. Don't listen to him. What if he's not?  I can't come up with an answer to give to Jeremy. 

"I..." 

No words came out. Nothing in my brain agrees to work. I'm stumped. I can't tell him, can I?  Jeremy takes my hands in his. We connect eyes. No... it's a lie. It's all a lie...

((Sorry for the short chapter y'all. It's not one of the best chapters ))