Kiwi Wives

8

Diana's

Kinakabahan ako. Today, I will be admitting my past. The past that has hindered me from opening myself to the world. The past that caused so much pain physically, mentally and emotionally. The past that I want the world to know for me to be able to show the real me.

No one, except for my family and some of my closest friends, knows about this. I wasn't comfortable with sharing this but when Kuya tasked us to do this activity, I felt like it was the right time. I stepped in front and shared my piece.

"I was once physically abused by a driver," my poster wrote. My legs were trembling so I had to hold the railings of the podium set infront to support myself. I looked at Franki who was still in the state of shock seeing her mouth and eyes are wide open.

"So ayun guys. When I was in high school, 13 years old, a year after my father died, I was assaulted by a tricycle driver. We were on our way to my house when he stopped and punched me. Binugbog niya talaga ako. He even stepped inside the side car just to assault me. Nagkaroon ako ng black eye, dumugo ilong ko and my body was left with bruises. He left marks that defined me for a long time. Years after the accident, the trauma still lingered. I would often havd nightmares about this and even at home I couldn't be left alone because I felt like I wasn't safe. The memory lingered and made me suffer for a long time. Because of that incident, I became distant to boys. Diba sinabi ko sainyo na it was 4 years since I had my last boyfriend? This incident left marks of trauma that have left me hating men." I stopped, took a deep breath and looked at Franki to gain some courage for the next words I will have to utter.

"I hated men so much na umabot sa point that I started dating girls." I saw all of their gazes strengthen towards me but none of them reacted in such a way that would offend me or distract me and I was thankful for that. I looked at Franki again and saw her supporting smile cheering me on.

"Sobrang laki nung trauma that up until now, when I return home, naalala ko lahat and minsan natatakot parin ako. I needed to tell you this guys because this is the one of the things that I wasn't comfortable to share kasi nahihiya pa ako, but now that its out, pinapalaya ko na sarili ko so..." itinaas ko yung poster at pinunit katulad ng utos ni Kuya. After that lahat sila pumalakpak at bumaba ako ng podium.

They all went to hug me and told me that they were so proud of me. I saw how Franki's eyes wanted to cry for me but she kept her composure strong and just hugged me. All of the boys as well hugged me and made me feel like not all men were the same as the person who assaulted me. With this, I told them "I will try to trust men from now on." After the hugs, it was Ate Hasna's turn and the rest followed.

Franki's

When Diana was about to show her poster, I saw her knees tremble that she needed support from the railings. She looked at me so I smiled and emcouraged her. She started to show her poster and we were all shocked. When she told her story, all I could feel was anger towards the person who mistreated her. He should rot in jail for making Diana suffer this long. She never deserved that kind of treatment. She is an amazing person and all I ever wished for her was happiness. I wanted to cry but it wasn't right to fall into pity and sadness when she's right there in front bravely telling her story. I needed to support her so I did.

When she stopped for a bit, I looked at her as if I was her fan cheering her on. She then continued her story and told us how she started dating girls. That moment I knew I wanted to cry. Not because of her story but how proud I am that she managed to come out and reveal herself to the world. I couldn't help but admire her all the way. I just wanted to appreciate her. All her flaws, mistakes, and her dark past, I just adored them all.

She's so brave that even if she had been suffering that amount of trauma for years, she held on and fought. I couldn't hide it anymore. When she went down we all hugged her and I saw her looking at me with a smile. I showed her my teary eyes but her smile that evoked courage inspired me to keep my composure.

Words cannot describe how I admire Diana and all I want is to make her happy. She had a dark and difficult past but now, I want her to feel that colors are going to put beauty in that ugly past just like how she placed colors in my own dull world.

Diana, you were once an enigma that I admired, but now that you have revealed your true self, I can't help but fall in love.