Helium Balloons

I Dreamt a Dream

Dear Friend,

I dreamt a dream of pixies and fairies and castles. I dreamt a dream of magic and Prince Charming and white horses. I dreamt a dream of him. I dreamt a dream of hand-holding and dinner dates and text message ‘I-love you’s’. He looked right into my eyes and told me I was pretty. There was no room for lies or dysmorphic reflections. I dreamt a dream of ‘you and me against the world’. I dreamt a dream of gliding through enchanting city lights, windows rolled down and radio turned up.

I dreamt a dream of feeling okay and smiles and a sky full of stars. I dreamt a dream of feeling wanted and loved and beautiful. I dreamt a dream of adventure. I dreamt a dream of mindless flirting, sharing secrets in hushed whispers and kissing in the rain. I dreamt a dream of cheesy one-liners and piano ballads and haikus. I dreamt a dream of cuddly hugs and uncontrollable laughter and drinking wine from the bottle.

I dreamt a dream of bright-colored slushies and cheeseburgers and days at the beach. I dreamt a dream of falling in love with as many things as possible. I dreamt a dream that smelled like old-books and sounded like old guitar strings. I dreamt a dream not looking for ‘I-hate-you’ signals and responding to compliments with ‘I-believe-you’. I dreamt a dream of chasing fireflies and catching snowflakes and making wishes on shooting stars.

I dreamt a dream of everybody around me being actually, genuinely happy. I dreamt a dream of laughing for jokes that stopped being funny ages ago. I dreamt a dream of not bothering to count calories in my head. I dreamt a dream of making our way believing in crazy things and every moment feeling like 11:11.

I dreamt a dream of dreams.

But, truth be told, I dream too many dreams.

I dreamt a dream that went so far away from reality that I could barely see it anymore. I dreamt a dream of the aforementioned ‘him’ existing. I dreamt a dream of love existing. I dreamt a dream of scar-free wrists and blood-free thoughts. I dreamt a dream of faith, trust and pixie dust.

Take me where the stars shine brighter. Take me where pain disappears to give away to joy and unadulterated happiness. Take me to where I can feel free instead of feeling tied down to hating the cruel and ugly world. Take me where the sunshine falls like manna and redeems humanity of its flaws. Mostly, take me somewhere where dreams come true.

I just can’t handle this anymore.

Yours Lovingly Xx