Afterwards || Dean Winchester [3]

Chapter 1

"Sam! You got the guns?" I called out as I packed the duffel bag. Ever since Dean's death, Sam and I have been hunting together. It really helped take my mind off of things.

"Got em!" Sam called back before he entered the room. We'd decided to stay at Bobby's for a while since Sam didn't think I was ready for change or whatever. He wouldn't stop trying to talk to me about coping with grief, so hunting was the only time I could actually be normal.

"You ready?" Sam asked as he picked the bag up and slung it over his shoulder.

I nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

***

"Hey...Dean. I went hunting again today..."

I'd been visiting Dean's grave every day for the past month. And now I was here again, telling him about my day, just like I normally do. He'd been gone for almost four months and it had taken me three months to muster up the courage to finally see him. I felt lost without him. The only time I felt like I belonged was when I was hunting.

"...I just wanted to say...that I miss you." I could already feel myself choking up. I'd been visiting him everyday and I still couldn't manage to hold it together.

"Sam's been really cool. He's been taking care of me. He even takes me on hunts. It helps—with the grief, ya know? Really takes my mind off of things."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I stood over the grave. Dean was under there. I sometimes wondered if he could hear me. Talking to him made me feel closer to him, like he was still here in some way.

"Um...so...I gotta go now...but I'll be back tomorrow. Okay? I love you."

As I walked away, I felt my heart clench in my chest. It hurt to see his grave everyday, but I didn't know any other way to cope. Hunting did help, but unfortunately, it was only a temporary fix.

***

When I finally returned home, Sam and Bobby were waiting in the kitchen. I quietly joined them at the table and I noticed that they were both watching me intently.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

They both just turned their heads away immediately.

"You okay kid?" Bobby asked.

"I'm good."

"You sure? Because if you ever wanna talk, we're both here for you."

"I know. But I'm good."

"Okay. Just puttin' it out there."

I was extremely grateful for all the support I'd received from them, but I knew that I was never going to get over Dean with them constantly bringing it up. I had to deal with this in my own way and talking to them about it was not going to help. I just had to try and guide myself through this.

***

a/n
So it's finally here, the sequel to Lost. Hope you're enjoying this so far (even if there is only one chapter at the moment). Please vote!!!!