Snapshots

25. Be Yourself

Linda rarely had reason to spend time snooping around her children's rooms. In eyes, they were mostly trustworthy, and the slight breaks of trust over the years had mainly been from Candace. And other than the Jeremy shrine in her closet, there wasn't anything worrying in her room, last Linda checked.

Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't poke around her boys' room, but they were growing up and Ferb's growing fascination with the female form made this a cautionary course of action. She was also pushing for Lawrence to hurry up with giving him the talk. Phineas, she was sure, could wait a few more years before needing it. He was too caught up in his wild imagination to take interest in anyone, and she hoped he'd keep his imagination even once he reached the noticing point.

When she found a box under Ferb's bed hidden behind his old toolbox and some other objects of his that had gotten stashed under there for one reason or another, she expected something simple like cutouts from a magazine at best and possibly some porn at worse.

A purple dress hadn't been anywhere on her expected items list.

***

Linda hesitated at the backdoor. Outside, Phineas leaned against the tree while Ferb, half using his brother as a pillow, read. Finally, she slid it open and stepped into the yard.

Part of her didn't want to do this, but there was a nagging feeling in her gut telling her she should. She forced a small smile on her face. Both boys looked towards her when she approached.

"Ferb,"-should she single him out?-"Phineas, you know your father and I will love you no matter what, don't you?"

Straightening from where he leaned against his brother, Ferb blinked at her.

Phineas only grinned, but there was a hint of worried confusion in his eyes. "Of course, Mom. Is everything alright?"

"Nothing's wrong, sweetie." Her eyes flickered to Ferb. She couldn't tell if he was picking up on it. "Nothing's wrong with being yourself. And we'll always accept and love you, whatever yourself might be."

Ferb stared at her.

"That's, um, great?" The words were dipping confusion as Phineas tried to puzzle out the clues not meant for him. "I'm glad you support us... being us?"

"No matter what." She didn't know why she felt she had to reinforce that. Before Phineas could come back with something she hurried on, "Are you boys ready for snacks?"

They exchanged a glance. "Thanks, but we're good for now."

"Alright, then, for now, my job's done." Both of them.

***

Snacks were given out an hour later.

***

Linda busied herself with kitchen chores. Washing dishes, cleaning the oven, and cleaning out the fridge, anything to distract herself from that morning's discovery. She hadn't been lying, she would love Ferb no matter what. He might have been her step-son technically, but he was as much her child as Phineas and Candace were, and she would never not love him.

But it still shocked her. He'd never struck her as that type. When she caught him staring at girls his age and older, she'd assumed it was them he was eyeing the girl's body, but could he have been admiring the clothes instead of the person in them? Or was he faking it to keep them from finding out?

Her mindless scrubbing of the countertops stopped at the idea that he would feel the need to hide it from them. She'd never been as close to Ferb as she'd like to be. He'd always been quiet and hard to connect with, but she thought their mother/son relationship was strong enough that he would know he could trust her.

Did Lawrence know? Being Ferb's biological father, he was arguably closer to him. But if he did, why didn't he ever say anything to her?

Linda squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ease the headache forming between her eyebrows.

"Mum?"

Her eyes shot open.

Ferb slid the backdoor shut behind him. "May I speak with you?"

"Of-of course, honey." She started to walk towards him before changing directions and going to the table. "Why don't we sit down and talk."

Silently, Ferb joined her at the table, taking the seat across from her.

"What would you like to talk about?" She tried to make her tone upbeat. She failed.

Ferb stared at his lap. "I believe your reassurances earlier were directed at me." Raising his head, he took a deep breath before continuing, "I saw that you were in our room."

If he wanted her to say it, she might as well. "I found the dress."

Ferb only nodded.

Linda licked her lips. She didn't know how to have this conversation. "It's alright if you're... not comfortable in your own skin."

To her surprise, Ferb fanatically started shaking his head. "Mum, I'm afraid you've misunderstood."

She had?

He leaned forward, folding his hands on the table. "I am more than comfortable in my own skin, as well as with my masculinity. I will admit it's a bit odd, but I enjoy crossdressing in ways that are unconnected to my sexuality and gender identity. It's not something I can fully explain, but I can assure you, I am either trans nor gay nor bi." He paused a second. "I would have told you about it, at some point."

Linda didn't want to say she was relieved, but hearing him straighten it out did remove some of her concern. Even if hearing Ferb speak for that long was shocking in of itself.

"Why you do it isn't important." She reached over, laying a hand over his and squeezing gently. "As long as you're happy."

Ferb gave her a split second smile as he leaned heavily on the table, a sudden tiredness filling his eyes.

A new cause for concern hit Linda. "Ferb, what's wrong?"

Shaking his head slightly, he pulled a hand away from her grip and waved it off as nothing.

"You're sure?"

He nodded. And she watched as he stood up and headed back outside before she moved to the door after him. Ferb crossed the yard to where Phineas was sitting back under the tree, gesturing animatedly as he talks to his friends. Ferb sat next to him before casually lying down with his head in Phineas' lap. Phineas didn't react except to briefly run his fingers through Ferb's hair.

Linda smiled. Her boys were special, and despite their 'oddness', she wouldn't change them for the world.