i'll keep moving; tøp fan fic

chap. 4

  i can't believe i'm being adopted by my mother. the one who is supposedly supposed to be in jail, having zero contact with me, is in front of my face smiling. i instantly just cry. now my life is actually over. i went to ms.mary and explained to her that's my actual mother and she's abusive and i'm better off staying in the orphanage. ms.mary didn't seem to get the memo and told me i'll be fine. i won't be fine, i just know it. i mean come on, it's my mother we're talking about. but, if my mom is released, what about my father? where is he?

  before i could even finish my thought there go the father of the year aggressively opening the front glass door of the orphanage. "what's taking so long, huh? let's get this bitch and go!" and of course my obedient mother grabbed me to go with her and my dad as i cried my way out.

  on the way home they yelled at me and blamed me for getting them locked up. they said they have a punishment for me at home, leaving off from where they started i assumed.

  as i looked out the window i saw a familiar person, the man in black. he was wearing his usual; black jeans, black hoodie, and a black pair of vans. always do mysterious that guy. he was walking towards the orphanage and i wish i was there right now. he was the closest thing i had to a friend at that place. he looked this way and i swear we made eye contact, i swear. maybe i'm just hoping we made eye contact but i'm sure we did. i hope we did.

  when i get out the car i hold my own bags getting ready to go back to my disgusting house. the smell has gotten worse since no one has been here these pass few months. i genuinely believe that if depression had a smell, it'll smell just like this, old cheap liquor and cancer sticks (cigarettes). i keep a air freshener in my room so my room doesn't smell as bad. my room smells like a mix of tobacco and lavender, not the best but it's better than that other combination, right?

  i don't put my stuff away yet because i don't feel comfortable settling in yet. i just sit on my bed thinking back to everything that happened throughout my life. i come from two abusive parents, i'm always sad, never can be happy for a long time because i start to think about how much these people hate me. no one can ever replace the love that a parent is supposed to have for their kid, ever. no one will ever want me even if i do go back to the orphanage so i'm just stuck.

  as i'm in the middle of my thoughts i decide to put some music on through my headphones. i open the apple music app and play "listen before i go" by billie eilish. i hate that i relate to this song so much. sometimes, i do think about ending my life because why live a life of suffering when you can just simply end it and stop the pain? but at the same time, i'm too coward to ever end my life and i also feel like i would regret it. i just really hope i don't reach my breaking point. in the middle of me thinking and listening to my music, i hear my door open, it was my father. "WHO IS THAT MAN IN FRONT OF MY DOOR ASKING FOR YOU?" i quickly turned to my father who looks very angry. i went downstairs with my headphones still in and saw the man in black outside my door. i never been happier. he had something for me, it was rapped in yellow rapping paper. "hey! is everything okay?" he asked me looking concerned, i can tell by his eyes he was concerned. i looked at him with tears in my eyes and whispered "no, please get me out of here, they're going to hurt me." i whimpered. he said "follow me" as he ran to his car that was parked right in front of our house. i did as he said and ran right inside while my dad and mom yelled for me to come back, i didn't even turn my head.

i went in the front seat and he drove off. he was on the phone with the police and they told him to meet them at the station. we spoke about everything that has happened and how terrible my parents are. he promised me they'll be arrested and taken care of.

when we arrived at the station he took his hood off but i was behind him. he has black hair and it's king of fluffy, it's nice. he was talking to an officer and i swear that voice sounded familiar. when he finished talking he turned his head and looked at me and said "merry christmas!" i looked at him in shock. i can't believe all of this time i've been talking to my idol, joshua dun.