Blindsided

34

The door swung open and a doctor stood in front of me, a small smile on his face. "Can I help you?" I looked past him and found my mom's eyes. They were open, alert, and bright when they saw me. I shoved passed the doctor and ran to the side of the bed that my dad wasn't on.

"Paige! Your dad told me that you had gone home," she whispered into my hair as I wrapped my arms so tightly around her that I heard the air leave her lungs.

"Be careful Paige," my dad ordered. I completely ignored him. Knowing my mom needed her entire family together right now and not a fight, I decided not to snap at him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up," I whispered.

"It's okay sweetheart. I've mostly been talking nonsense until now. The doctor was just talking about some papers we had to fill out. Sit with me?" she grinned. I looked over at my dad for my own satisfaction, but he was already looking back at the waiting doctor.

I pulled up a chair and held her hand while the doctor explained the surgery, the outcomes she might face, and a thousand other things I had no intent on listening to.

All I could focus on was the warmth of her hand and how it felt perfectly safe in my own. The pure joy I felt knowing my mom was okay. And it was selfish, but I was also beyond happy that my dad was wrong. That she wanted me here, and she hadn't turned away in disgust when I walked in.

But guilt soon followed when I considered the fact that it could have been a possibility. She might not have wanted to see me when she woke up, and I had no one to blame but myself. I had treated her horribly, blaming her for something that only brought me to a part of my life that has brought me more pride and happiness than anything else.

I was a terrible daughter and it shouldn't have taken almost losing her to realize what I had. I didn't even realize that the doctor had left until I heard my dad crying, pacing the room back and forth. If he had that big of a problem with me being here then he could leave. There was nothing he could say or do that would make me let go of her hand right now.

"It's okay. We can figure this out, hun—"

"Jessa, you spend practically your entire life outside. You're not a lazy person. I built you an entire barn 'cause you like riding so much!" my dad yelled. The fog cleared from my brain and I finally started to process some of what they were saying. Warning bells really started going off when I finally looked at my mom and saw tears running down her pale cheeks.

"Wha—"

Before I could even get a word in, my mom was yelling right back at my dad. "It's been less than an hour. The doctor just said that to warn us. There's no use in getting worked up over something that might not even happen."

My dad stopped pacing and rubbed his eyes. "Jessa, this isn't a broken leg! He said you might never walk again! The sooner you realize how serious this is, the sooner we can start planning the rest of our lives."

The way he said the last part made it sound like he had given up. Looking over at my mom, she looked like she had too. I was still frozen, a whole new fog setting in. All I could do for my mom was squeeze her hand tighter. She squeezed her eyes shut and let her head fall. I finally snapped out of it to wrap my arms around her again. She welcomed the gesture, and without my dad breathing down my back, I squeezed her as tight as I could.

There was a knock at the door, and for a second, I thought that it was my dad again. I slowly let go of my mom to turn around and tell him to beat it, but I turned to find Simon's eyes instead.

"Thought you ladies could use some of my dad's muffins," he grinned, sharing a questioning look with me. I considered turning him away, but when I looked back at my mom, she was beaming like crazy.