Bound By Purpose

I No Longer Feel Things

I land after the rest of the crew has gone inside. I keep my distance as I walk through the field and up the few steps into the little hut Thanos has begun calling home. When I enter they already have him restrained. Carol holds the one armed titan tightly. Thanos glances my direction for a mere moment before turning back to Steve. "The Universe required correction. After that, the stoned served no purpose, beyond temptation." 

Bruce lunges from beside me in his hulkbuster armor. "You murdered trillions!" He makes no move to engage Thanos he was just rather startled. I step forward an gently pull him back a bit letting Steve continue with the questions.

"Where are the stones?" Natasha asks, arms crossed.

"Gone. Reduced to atoms."

"You used them two days ago!" Bruce moves forward again and this time I let him advance, mostly from the fact that the words have hit me and my mind is computing all the possibilities. 

"I used the stones to destroy the stones. It nearly... killed me. But the work is done. It always will be. I am inevitable." I slouch back, nearly falling to the floor I compute what exactly he means. No stones equals no hope.

"We have to tear this place apart, he-he-he has to be lying." Rhodes pleads his case but the rest of the team looks absolutely defeated. 

"My father is many things. A liar is not one of them." Nebula approaches her father for the first time.

"Ah, thank you, daughter. Perhaps I treated you too harshly." Nebula straightens back up, completely unphased by her father's revelation. Thor pushes past all of us, his face filled with turmoil. No one stops him as raises his hand to summon Stormbreaker. There's a moment of tension and then Thor yells in rage and slices Thanos' head off. I jump back as the head and Thanos' limp body falls to the floor.

I cock my head to the side and look down at the now dead eyes left open looking up. 

"What... What did you do?" Rocket asks from across the room.

Thor looks disgusted, broken realizing what he's done. "I went for the head." 

Speechless, I move out of the way as Thor descends out of the shed void of all purpose. When I turn back to the group it's as if they're all frozen. Carol sits on the floor perplexed. Nebula and Rocket stand hand in hand looking down at the floor. Nat is staring off into nothing, arms crossed. Steve looks to be on the verge of tears, he looks just as broken as he did when Thanos snapped his fingers, but this time he looks hollow. 

"There's gotta be something..." Rhodey tries but no one seems inclined to acknowledge him. A shiver goes up my back and now I am very aware of my body. Seeing the decapitated head once more I suddenly feel very sick. 

Running out of the shed I make it a few strides away from the steps and then fall to my knees. My helmet releases and then my stomach lurches. Nothing comes up even as I try to heave the feeling from my stomach. I'm left hunched over, hands on my knees. I cough once more and then wipe my mouth with the back of my shaking hand. Holding my stomach I pop out of the grass. Surrounded by the fields that could belong to Earth I look up into this foreign sun. Panic washes over me. How the hell was I going to carry on this way, raise a child without Bucky. Go on in life without all those that we lost. 

I drag myself back to the ship. Thor is the only one present. Seeing him with one arm up against the window I see myself. He's lost everyone, his brother, his home, his people. I step forward intending to approach him but think better of it. Instead I find a spot against the hull. I drop myself against it, laying my head back gently I close my eyes and try to remove myself from the now. Grasping for any string to take me to a happy time I catch one that brings me back. For a moment I'm back home sprinting through my house running the imaginary bases of our indoor baseball games. A young Bucky and Steve chase after me and my mother calls from the kitchen telling us to go outside.

I'm woken up by shuffling feet. When my eyes open I realize I'm crying. Steve drops down beside me as Carol and the others make their way to the cockpit. "Where'd you go?" He asks, voice strained. 

I know exactly what he means. "Home." I reply. He grabs my hand gently and lightly kisses the top of it. They stay entwined as we sit side by side, defeated. I cling to him, knowing he's the only anchor left in my life.

"We're taking off Cap." Rhodes calls us up from his spot on the ladder. Taking this as our cue we help each other push up from the floor. He lets me go ahead of him. When I reach the ladder, I turn back, wanting, needing, to say something. Steve beats me to it. 

"We're going to be okay Evelyn... You're going to be okay." He hasn't moved from his spot.

I fake a smile, "I know." I nod and then continue my climb. I'm not so sure I would be.