Things we Lose (Updated version)

Chapter One

"Miss you can't go over there!" The officer yells at me. Though instead of listening to him I try to run across the yellow caution tape. The officer doesn't seem to care about my efforts as he grabs my arm to keep me from going further into the crime scene.
The tears that had already been dripping down my face now pour out like water running out of a faucet. My brother, Sam is also weeping in the open forest area, but instead of trying to do something he is standing in place as if he is stuck in the ground and can't move.
I look up at the cop that loosens his grip on my arm slightly with no attempt to hide my tears. "Please, it's my parents," I cry out, "I want to see what happened!"
I feel arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling me away from the scene. I thrash around in them, viciously trying to get away.
"Jade, calm down!" My brother attempts to help me, while trying to keep me still. It seems like he snapped out of his shocked trance. Sam sits me down on a big tree that had been knocked over on the ground due to the recent storm we had a few days ago. I now notice my shaking hands and worried brother. Still not calm, but less rabid feeling I can focus on my brother as he starts to talk. "Take a second to breathe before I tell you this, okay?"
His words only make me panic more, but I hide that from him as I try to breathe slower. He lightly touches my shoulder in a caring way to let me know he is here for me. I notice how his cheeks are just as wet as mine as he sits down by me on the big tree.
"Dad and mom....They are gone," he says slowly as if I wouldn't process anything quicker than very slow sentences.
A huge part of me already knows that my mom and dad are gone. It was the only thing that made sense and hearing it only confirmed my suspicions. The worst part about it for me is that it doesn't change the hurt that it makes me feel when the words left his mouth. It feels like a huge stab wound right in my chest and a big shock passed all through my body as if I have been zapped by a strike of lightning. What are we going to do?
My shaking grows worse from fear of the future and the overwhelming sensation of losing my two favorite people. I can't go on without them. More thoughts like that flow inside my mind making me daze out in panic. Sam says my name over and over again, trying to call me out of the daze.
"Jade," a screechy voice yells. I look up as I am pulled out of my dream state. Mrs. Britt is glaring at me while standing in front of my desk. Ah, damn it. I need to stop zoning out and thinking about the past. I mentally shake off my trauma and lock my focus onto Mrs. Britt.
"Would you like to tell me the answer to the question?" She puts her hand on her hip in a dramatic way. The fact that she even has an attitude makes me mad. Especially since she is teaching when there are two days of school left. Technically she is preparing us for her final that we have to do tomorrow, So she has a good reason, But I believe she does it for her own enjoyment to punish us for being her least favorite class. I wish she would calm down and give us some time to work on what we need to do.
"I.....Uh.." I try to think of what we were talking about in class.
"The answer is Twenty-Six Mrs. Britt." My friend Darren answers from across the class. He shoots me a quick wink when Mrs.Britt moves her head to look at him. Meanwhile I take a sigh of relief. Thank God, for Darren.
"I don't remember your name being Jade, Mr. Smith," she scolds him then goes back up to the board that's centered in the front of the classroom.
When Mrs.Britt makes it back to the board, I mouth a quick thank you over to Darren. He gives me a nod and runs his hands through his black, wavy styled hair. Sometimes I want to run my hand through his hair. I shake my head at myself then take my attention off Darren and his soft looking hair. I glance at the clock on the wall that hangs beside a weird cat poster. I have stared at it several times today but the time only felt slower and slower. I stare at the bell and daydream until I hear the loud ringing of the bell that signals everyone to leave, then I pack my bag up and quickly dip out of the crayon smelling classroom. Darren, of course, follows right behind me. He's always around me when he can be and honestly I love his company. I don't have to worry about anything when I am around him. Plus it's always nice to look up at his icy blue eyes. They are super pretty.
Darren and I search the halls together looking for my other best friend named Carter. Luckily the blondie that I know so well finds us first. His bright white smile welcomes me and then he gives me a hug. Carter's skinny body leans into my athletic one. He gives me a pat on the back then I let go of Carter and start to speak but end up getting rudely interrupted.
"Ew, watch out Jared. Carter's going to get his gay glitter on us," Some guy mocks Carter and his friends start to laugh.
As usual Carter shrugs it off and walks past them like it didn't bother him. I know it gets to him, he just doesn't want to let other people see that it affects him. It has always boiled anger inside me when someone talks bad about any of my friends. How could people be so cruel and rude? I ponder punching those jerks in the faces, but refrain, so that Carter won't be embarrassed. So, instead of doing anything, we walk out to the parking lot and get into Darren's car. I sit in the back of his white Cadillac while they both take the front seats.
"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Carter asks with a grin. None of us are worried about the finals we need to take so it's not weird for us to blow off studying to make plans.
I look at Darren questionally, hinting to him that he should answer. Which he does by saying, "I heard that the party at Amber's house is supposed to be fun. Plus we could snatch a few drinks and catch a break from everything."
Darren gives me a weird look that I choose to ignore. Instead I focus on the fact that it would be Amber's house that we go to for the party. See, Amber is someone I despise. She's a slim, cake faced, brunette, with a bad personality and terrible self dependence. Plus people consider her royalty at school when she is nothing but stuck up. Whatever, I won't let her stop me from a good night, even if the party takes place at her house.
"Let's do it. I just need to train with Sam and then I will get ready to go with you guys," I tell them.
Sam and I have trained a lot since our parents passed away. We wanted to be able to protect ourselves from the world, considering that our parents mysteriously got shot. It makes me feel safer and it doesn't hurt to have a nice body from it. Sometimes I think of it as getting stronger, so that I can find the people that killed our parents and take them out. I know they are out there somewhere and one day I plan on discovering the truth about my parents death. The truth that cops never found.
"You and your training babes. It's tiring," Carter complains. He doesn't agree with the whole issue. He thinks that Sam and I are just paranoid and that we are wasting our time with such strict routines. A lot of others would agree with him, but I usually give a whole argumentative speech about the great uses it could give us except for helping our 'Paranoid' brains. Right now isn't the time for that though.
I listen to them plan out the night as Darren starts to drive to Carter's house. Their conversation included Carter pointing his finger into Darren's shoulder while talking about Darren being the designated driver for tonight. Honestly, Darren has almost always been our driver because Carter and I don't have our own car. Not having a car totally sucks, but it's just me and my brother Sam, so unfortunately one car is our limit money wise and that car is his. He doesn't let me use it even though I can somewhat drive. I try not to be too much of a bratty teenager for Sam's sake so I don't bring it up. Thanks to Sam we aren't bad money wise. He has managed it since we lost our parents. The big savings account my parents had for us for college was where we started off when we ended up alone and I remember their will included our childhood house that they owned. Sam is the older sibling so Sam took over almost everything.
My thoughts make time pass by faster than usual as we soon pull into Carter's driveway.
"Thanks for the ride Darren, I'll see you guys later," Carter says then he gets outside the car and goes into his decent sized house. I'm sure his parents won't care what he does later, as long as they don't know it's a party.
I move to the front seat then buckle up as we slowly pull out of the driveway.
Darren shoots a quick glance over at me with a nervous smile. "So, I was thinking earlier today and I know they just opened that new restaurant downtown and I wanted to take you down there sometime."
Is he asking me on a date? I feel my cheeks heat up from a faint blush and try to think of something to say. We had always seemed a little closer than normal friends already. Some people around the school already think we were a couple even when we have said multiple times that we are not. On top of that I have always had a connection with Darren that is unexplainable so I struggle to answer questions like 'why are you guys holding hands in the hall?', or 'why do you guys have to be around each other all the time?'
"Yeah, let's consider it a date," I boldly say despite my red cheeks. Thankfully Darren can't see how red they are because he is focused on the road.
We sit in silence after that, except for the music faintly playing in the background of the car. I don't mind as he slowly reaches his hand over to grab mine. Our fingers gently intertwine and we keep them that way, until arriving at my house and pulling into the driveway. Then we say our short goodbyes awkwardly and I go inside my house.
Walking in, I see my brother on the couch. He has some action movies playing that his green eyes are focused on. Usually when I get home he is ready to train immediately. I pass him and go upstairs to my room. Maybe training isn't on his mind today.
As I get to my room I open my closet door and start rummaging for something to wear. I most likely need a dress, considering it's going to be at Amber's house. I find one of my newer dresses after searching through the mess I have going on inside my closet. About a month ago Carter had given me this dress as a thank you for helping him, with watching his baby cousin. To be honest I would have done it just to hang out with him, but I always enjoy receiving a gift.
The dress has a black bottom that goes to my knees almost and squeezes my hips in the right way. A sparkly silver completed the dress at the top, with spaghetti straps and a nice v-cut line where my chest is. I grab my black converse to go along with it, I can't walk in heels very well. It's something I never got used to and I have no idea where my flats are, which sucks. I should be okay with the converse. With that in mind I put everything on my bed.
A sudden knock on the door catches my attention and directs me away from my bed. I turn around to find Sam standing directly in the doorway facing me.
"I skipped training today because I wanted to talk to you."
His gaze lands over to my bed and he shakes his head, with no comment to add. Usually he knows I'm going out before I remember to tell him because I always set my things up like that before a night out. He isn't against it most of the time, because even if he took a parental role he is still just my brother.
"I know I'm not the best at taking care of you," he pauses and looks at a picture of our parents on my bedside desk. I can see the pain in his eyes that probably reflect my own.
"I was nineteen when we lost them. Yet I thought I could help us somehow by starting a ridiculous routine. Maybe I thought we could protect each other against this cruel world."
His frown shows me how much of a toll these thoughts are taking on him. I wish I could take it away and find proof that he helps me more than any other person can. In my story he is the hero and protector, not some guy that isn't good enough.
"I got something that was more of a protection. Please stay calm," He looks directly into my eyes.
"Okay," is all I reply with.
His hand reaches to his waist band then he pulls out a pistol. My jaw drops in shock. Sam never cared much for guns because he never saw a use for them. Plus it's what helped someone kill our parents. I never would have imagined to see him holding one.
I never thought I would hold a gun in my life, but that is proven wrong as my brother gently passes over his gun like a candy bar.
I grab it and let the coldness of it take the warmth from my hands. It's way heavier than I thought it would be. I suppose guns aren't going to be very light.
"I will teach you how to use them," Sam says.
Them? As in more than one? I mentally check his hands to make sure he isn't carrying any silver looking object like the one that is resting in my hand. Nope. No shiny gun in his hand.
"I have them in my room," he must have noticed my expressions. I tend to show all of my emotions through facial expressions even when I don't want to.
Once my shock starts to calm down Sam starts talking about rules in the house that involve guns. Then he leads me out of my room and into his. Like me he has stuff laying on his bed. Instead of a pretty dress for a party like my bed he has three other guns and a crossbow laying on his. Seems like he went on a weapon shopping spree.