Liars And Thieves

Chapter 46

Grace found herself sitting over the swampy water by the building she had cleared out. She was expecting the moment where the Pinkertons would run in and kill them all. Abigail and Charles however were more than confident that they weren't going to be found here as they continued to plan their way about collecting Hosea and Lenny's bodies. Grace struggled to wrap her head around the fact that Lenny and Hosea were actually gone along with Arthur being who knows where. His journal sat in her lap, she had been debating whether to read it or not. She was eager to read it, she wanted to see what stuff blossomed in his mind but she also wanted to respect his privacy. She had a hunch to read it more than leave it in case Arthur was never to return to her. She knew he would want her to have it if anything happened to it. She stared down at the journal, wishing the journal would burst open just from her stare. She couldn't bring herself to physically open the journal herself, she felt guilt whenever she tried. She sighed before taking a swig of the bottle of whiskey beside her before looking back down at the journal. Who knew a journal would be so difficult to open. 

"How are you going, Grace?" Susan's voice chimed from behind her. Grace almost jumped, pulling her hand away from the journal. She looked over her shoulder, shuffling her body slightly in the seat to see the woman easier. 

"I'm doing okay," Grace informed the woman. Susan nodded, taking a few small steps forward before stopping. 

"You're not helping Abigail and Charles with the bodies?" Susan asked, motioning back towards the cabin they were all squashed up in. Grace shook her head, giving her a small grin.

"No, they've got this. Anything on John?" She asked Susan, giving her a question. Susan gave a weak smile as she shook her head. Grace could see the woman was trying to remain positive and strong for everyone in the camp.

"No. Sadie is trying to find out what's going on with him. I'm sure he'll be okay though," Susan ensured. To Grace it seemed like Susan was reminding herself more than anything. Susan's eyes trailed away before focusing back on Grace, her tone changing. "Charles told me that they should be gone for at least a few weeks until the heat is cooled down a little. Dutch reckons they would've never made it back to Shady Bell."

"Okay. Well then, we wait a few days until everything settles then we start to only leave for supplies. Food, clean water, medicines. When I think Shady Bell is clear, I'm going to go back and leave a letter-"

"Grace..." Susan trailed off. Grace could hint the small doubt in her tone. Grace shook her head at Susan, she felt her eyes springing with tears.

"They'll be back. I know they will," Grace insisted. Susan gave her a weak smile before hurrying off again. Grace turned back around, wiping a tear that escaped. She knew wherever they were, anything could happen to them. For all everyone knew, they might never return. For all they knew, they may have never reached the boat. Charles never heard gunshots though so he knew they made it for sure. 
Grace's attention focused back on the journal, she continued her stare off with it.

Maybe I can read what he recently wrote, that wouldn't be prying so much.

Grace's fingers fiddled for the cover, lifting it open. Grace's eyes wanted to linger on all the pages as she flicked towards the most recent page. She skipped the most recent page, moving onto a blank page. Realising she had skipped the page, she went back. Her eyes latched onto the very first word on the page, her breath stopping. It was for her. He knew she was going to read his journal. Her eyes immediately began to scan the page slowly as she read the message Arthur had left her.

Grace.
The only reason you would be reading this is that if I got caught or killed. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading because I never let anyone into my journal. Whether you're experiencing the grief or pre-grief of losing me, you need to know I love you. I've loved you for a long time, longer than I can remember. You're the best woman I've ever known. I was a lucky man, too lucky. For some reason you fell in love with me, as much of a fool I am. I'll never understand what you saw in me but I will never not appreciate the love you have for me. 
I want you to leave the gang, Grace. Leave this life behind. My chapter is over, yours should have never begun. A woman with the likes of you should be married and living on a ranch, not being held back by a gang. Don't say a word, just leave in the night. I know the gang didn't get the outcome you had hoped for but I pray that you leave to better yourself. Whether Dutch is alive or not, leave. Get far away and make sure no one knows where you are. 
I will always love you and because of that, I want you to have my journal.
Arthur. 

Grace watched as a tear fell on his handwriting. She cussed at herself, wishing she hadn't cried on the ink. She closed the journal, avoiding more of her escaping tears from ruining the ink. She wiped away her tears before bursting into a sob, burying her head into her hands. After sobbing silently to herself for a while, she sat back up, staring down at the journal again. She wasn't going to read anymore of it, for now anyway. If he never returned, she would do as he asked. For now, she had to wait it out. She wasn't going to leave yet, she couldn't. She loved the man, she couldn't just leave him after this horrific event. Not only would the gang hate her, she would hate herself for leaving them without keeping her promise. 

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I have to stay for a little longer," Grace mumbled. She grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took another drink before placing it back down and getting up out of her seat, holding the journal close to her chest as she headed back to the cabin.

-

Hair scattered on the dirt around her, the blade of her knife rubbing against her hair. She stared down into the bucket of water as she watched herself carefully as she slowly cut her hair. 
After what felt like centuries, she sat back. Her hair felt lighter and more tamed. She was going to miss her longs brown locks but it was time for a change. She was known by the Pinkertons and if she had any chance on not getting caught, looking different could benefit her. Even Mrs Adler had agreed with her, cutting a small amount of her hair and braiding it to the side. Grace however was a lot more confident than Sadie with her hair, cutting it short. She pulled out the pocket mirror out of her shirt pocket, opening the mirror to scan her new hair. She turned her head a few times, scanning every angle of her to ensure it was cut evenly. Grace gave herself a small grin, the corners of her lips lifting for the first time since finding out about Hosea and Lenny. She closed the mirror as she heard a gasp behind her. 

"Aunt Grace! Your hair!" Jack gasped in shock. Grace turned around to face the boy, laughing at his reaction. She stayed on her knees, outstretching her arms for the boy. He happily ran into her arms, accepting her hug.

"Do you like it?" She asked him. Jack nodded, pulling away from her as he looked at her new hair.

"I do!" Jack answered. Grace grinned at him. "It's the length of Pa's!" Grace laughed at the comparison.

"You're an angel," she complimented him causing him to grin widely. His grin fell when he looked down at his tiny hands. Grace frowned, wondering what had upset him. "What's wrong, Jack?"

"When is Pa coming home? I miss him," Jack asked. Grace's heart broke as she remembered Jack didn't know about John being locked up. She didn't even know if the child was ever going to see his father again. 

"He'll be home soon," Grace answered positively.

"Just like Uncle Arthur and Uncle Hosea?" Jack asked. Grace held back tears as she nodded at the boy, forcing a smile on her face.

"Exactly," She answered. She quickly managed to pull herself together as she reached for his hand as she got to her feet. "How about we go see if Pearson has anything yummy to eat?" She offered. Jack nodded in agreement, accepting her hand. The two of them walked to the cabin before Grace held the door open for Jack.