i'll keep moving; tøp fan fic

chap. 1

"i don't know, man, i'm just not really feeling my hair today." i complain to my best friend treasure. "you're never really feeling your hair. you're never feeling anything about yourself, brooke. i wish you realized how beautiful you are and just stop being so insecure, but i know it's not that easy." she says to me. she says this to me almost everyday. i'm trying to learn to at least be comfortable with myself so i can learn to love myself, but it's hard for me. i look at myself and i don't really love or honestly even like what i see. it's not that i think i'm ugly, i just don't like certain things about myself. i simply reply to treasure and say "i'm trying." which she replies with "i know, brooke."

we started to talk about some randomness until we were interrupted by the bell which meant it was time to go to first period. we go our separate ways and i walk to geometry. i'm in tenth grade & i try to keep up with my grades as much as i possibly could. my parents aren't happy when i have below average grades. as i walk to class i repeatedly adjust my shirt which is tucked into my jeans because i don't want to look fat. that's one of my biggest insecurities, my body. i try to hide it as much as i could but it's just hard sometimes, you know? i don't really want to get into that. i go to my geometry class and sit in the middle row towards the window, my assigned seat. i plug in my headphones since i'm early by 5 minutes and open apple music to turn on "smithereens" by twenty one pilots. it's my favorite song off of their recent album, it makes me want to fall in love honestly. tyler's voice is so beautiful.

after 7th period, it's dismissal. i go to my locker, get my denim jacket & wait for treasure to gather her belongings. both of our houses is sort of far from my school so normally we'd take the bus but there's just some days we feel like walking. my house is further from treasure's so we just walk and talk until i drop her off. when we reached her house she asked me "when will you let me come over to your house?". she asks me this a lot and honestly she can never come over. it's always a mess at my house no matter what i do because let's just say my parents are messy people and i don't want to clean up after them. it's pretty embarrassing, i wish they cared more about their selves. "soon" i say, like i say every time.

i walked the rest of the way home which took about 15 minutes but it went by fast since i was listening to music. i was listening to "neon gravestones" and the rest of the album as i walked. i seriously love that album.

when i step into my house, the smell of cigarettes slaps me right across the face and the sound of music makes my ears ring. i wave at my dad who doesn't look too happy & my mother who also doesn't look too happy. i assume something has happened or i could've possibly done something like not take out the trash before i left for school this morning. my dad turned down the music and threw his cancer stick on the floor and stepped on it with his shoe. "your report card came in the mail today," my mom says. my heart dropped to my toes. the last time i had a bad report card which included a's and one c+ in geometry i was in serious trouble. i'm supposed to be a straight a student & nothing less than that. "why do you have a b in english?" i saw this one coming. on my english final i scored a 79 and it brought my grade down a bit, but i didn't know it brought it down that much. i'm scared for what's about to happen "i-i- don't know, i'm sorry", i stutter. "sorry isn't going to bring up that english grade though, isn't it? you know what you have to do now." i already know the drill.

i go to my room and take off my clothes until i only have on my bra and underwear. i'm crying as i wait for my mother. i waited for ten minutes until i heard arguing down stairs that was definitely more than two voices. i heard foot steps coming up the stairs so i quickly put on my clothes and as i was putting on my shirt i heard a knock. "one second!" i said loudly but not too loud. i knew this wasn't my mom or dad because they never knock. i opened the door to see a police officer. i was completely confused. "are you brooke freeman? the daughter or joe & sindy freeman?" i nodded my head yes. he came to tell me my parents has been arrested and for scamming and too many noise complaints. he asked me if their was anything else i should know and i said no. he looked down and noticed a whip mark i had on my thigh. why would i wear spandex shorts? he's a police officer of course he's going to notice everything. he pointed it out and i just told the truth, they're being arrested anyways, right? he added that on to their charges and told me i'll have to go to an orphanage since there's no one else to get in contact with. when he said that i felt my heart break into a million pieces. i've heard nothing good about the orphanages in my neighborhood.

i gathered all of my things and the kind police officer drove me to the orphanage and i didn't say anything the whole way. the lady at the front desk gave me a dirty look as soon as i came in. this isn't going to end well...

wc;1017