Daft || Malum

Bedtime Comedy

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"They are such idiots." Calum sighs, finally walking into our hotel room with Lashton in tow. "They 'accidentally' started a fire trying to make popcorn. Like, who does that?" The two sport wolfish grins as the mothers turn on their disappointed looks towards them.

"Sorry mum." Luke flashes a small smile, knowing Liz won't be mad at him for longer than three seconds.

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"Cal? What're you doing?" I ask groggily, woken up by my bed shifting. I reach out and hit him, "You're not Calum." I frown, hitting the person once again. Their arms are too big to be Calum.

"You're right, I'm not." Ashton said, flicking on the lights and grinning at me. "He kicked me out of my room so he could talk to Luke for a second. I'm really tired, so I thought I'd just slip in with you because you look warm and cuddly."

I don't know if you know this but sleepy Ash always looks and sounds extremely innocent.

"Of course you can, turn off the light asshole." I whine, throwing my head down in my pillow once again.

"Don't swear and what do you think you're doing? We're supposed to cuddle." Ashton laughs, trying to pick me up and move me closer.

"I don't cuddle." I grumble, gripping onto my pillow tighter.

"Don't fucking lie to me." He giggles, hitting me with his own pillow.

"Don't be a jerk."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Shut up Ash, 'm tryin' to sleep."

The light clicks off and Ashton stumbles under my covers.

"Hey Michael?" Ashton whispers and I can basically hear the smile on his face.

"What?" I groan, not moving from my comfortable spot.

"Do you know why they call the thingies on the end of your hand fingers?" He asked in a sleepy but very serious tone, as if he really needed to know.

"Nope."

"Michael?" He whispers again several minutes later when I thought he'd fallen asleep.

I hum.

"W-What do you call cheese that's yours?" He giggles, finally getting it out without busting out into laughter.

Nacho cheese.

"I don't know."

"Mozzarella!" He exclaims. "Wait no! No, that's wrong! Let me restart!"

"Are you tired or just drunk?" I ask, giving him a funny look.

"No." He replies after a pause. Not actually answering my question.

"Okay, try again." I mumble, putting my head back down on my pillow.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" He giggles.

"That's not even the same joke." I whine.

"Because it's chicken! Ha! Get it?" He dissolves into loud laughs and somehow ended up on the ground.

"Laughing when someone's in pain is not nice."Ashton pouts, climbing back onto the bed.

He tries to jump on top of me but miscalculates and ends up half off the bed with his bum sticking up in the air and legs across my back.

The hotel room's door squeaks open and Calum turns on the light, causing me to laugh even harder.

"What. The fuck." His eyebrows furrow as he surveys the two of us.

"Oh hi." Ashton greets, struggling to wiggle himself back on my bed.

"You guys are so weird." Calum states, shaking his head but coming over to lay down beside me anyway.

"Thanks loser." I yawn, hugging him around the waist.

"Cuddle!"Ashton shrieks, laying on top of us.

"Hello my friends, I am here." Luke greets upon opening the door.

"You have friends?" A chorus of voices respond as an automatic reaction.

"Join us." Ashton whispers.

They thought it would be a great idea to join the two beds together but they didn't mention they'd take up both beds. And the floor would have little bits of chips all over.

And that is the story of how Calum and I ended up sleeping in the bathtub.