How It All Started

Chapter 34- The Final Goodbye

"Thank you mom," I squeeze her hand tightly as it rests on mine.

"I'm not done yet," I lightly laugh at her determination. She's just trying to say everything she wants to before it's too late. "I know I've said this before, but I am very sorry about your childhood," I take a deep breath nodding. "I wish I could change it all, I really do. I wish that I could go back to the day you were born, how small your little fingers, and your nose were. How tiny you were all together," we both seem to be taking in a lot of air to stop us both from breaking into tears. "Your father, oh gosh, the way he looked at you. I can never get that image out of my head, he held you carefully, with his eyes full of tears, he loves you so much Alexandra," her hand goes up to cover her face as she sobs. As I watch her do that tears freely fall down my face.

"I forgive you," I stand up quickly to sit down next to her. I need closure before she goes, and we all know it's soon.

"Alexandra, I've always loved you, I know it didn't always seem like it when you had to do things on your own when children shouldn't have to do things like that, but I messed up life and I don't want you to follow in my tracks," she takes a deep breath, trying to slow down her cries. "I want you to live a happy life, and if it's with Shane then let it be like that. Don't be afraid to love him, he's a great guy so don't worry," shes nodding her eyes with tears stuck in her eyes even though there are many falling down her face.

"I love you so much mommy," I say just like a small child that is proclaiming its love for their mother.

"I love you so much too darling," her eyes look up at me to above me. Following her eyes my father is standing there, looking slightly surprised by both of us crying. I'm glad he must haven't heard our conversation which I'm glad for.

"Let's stop the tears please," my dad takes a seat next to me smiling trying to lighten the mood.

"Have you talked to Shane since you've gotten here?" My mom asks me as she adjusts herself in the bed.

"She has every night, for multiple hours, I even Skyped with him for a little bit," we all laugh at his comment, although it's the truth. We both talked to Shane over webcam for about an hour before he had to go to work.

"I can't believe you didn't let him come," my mom complains again about how she wishes my boyfriend would have come. My father lets out a weird noise that I presume is him trying to hold back his laughter. I giggle, as my mother leans back in her bed, she grabs the remote for the tv that is mounted on the way in front of her. She changes the channels a couple times before she settles on one. Sitting back, we've done this lots, mom watching tv, dad with his laptop on his lap typing away, and me either watching the tv or texting Shane. "I'm so glad both of you are here with me, I love you both with all my heart,"

"I love you too," my father and I both repeat at the same time. We all resume what we were doing.

It's now just about lunch and all our eyes are focused on the tv which is showing some crime show. Dad has his laptop put away, my phone died, so all of our attention is focused on the relatively small tv. What catches me off guard next is the obnoxious beeping noise. As I realize what that exactly means, my head quickly turns to look at my mother's peaceful face, with her hands resting gently on her stomach. I turn my head as I feel someone grab my arm. Meeting their eyes, it's the doctor, his mouth his moving fast and I can't understand him. My father is the next to grab my attention, it's now that I know we're being rushed out for the doctors to see what happened. As the shut the door in both out faces hysterical sobs quickly leave my mouth. Embracing my father in a hug we both cry loudly, it's one thing that we've done the same in years. Someone we both love in different ways, but with all we have has just died.