In Love, In Death

Unspoken Thoughts and Unknown Desires

Bellatrix couldn't sleep. After skipping dinner she returned to the Slytherin common room, ignored Narcissa and Malfoy devouring each other on the sofa in front of the fire and stormed into her dormitory. Throwing back the covers, she jumped into her four-poster bed, clothes and all.

Now as she tossed and turned thinking about life's unfairness, sleep eluded her and she had nothing else to do but lie there and stare at the ceiling. Her thoughts ran rampant around her mind like wild horses that she struggled to rein in. Bellatrix knew why she couldn't sleep. She knew what tomorrow was. 

Tomorrow was Friday.

Aside from the looming threat of having her rushed transfiguration essay thrown back in her face there was what would happen after the school day ended that troubled her.

Bella didn't even know why she was worrying so much. In truth she always knew she had a flare for rebellion, this Dark Arts group shouldn't seem so daunting. Shouldn't the thought actually be exciting? Aren't hidden secrets exciting?!

Ah, there it was. There's the reason she was stressing.

The club would be a secret. Kept from the most important person in her life right now.

What would Ethan do if he found out? What would he say? Bellatrix shuddered at the thought.

 Pulling the covers up to her chin she counted bowtruckles in her mind and then tried reciting the seven laws of transfiguration and yet, nothing. Sleep just wouldn't come.

Sighing, Bella got up from her bed and walked down into the common room.

She was surprised to see Lucius Malfoy staring pensively into the dying fire. He looked so peaceful and... mature. She was taken aback, left dumbstruck at the bottom of the stair.

"If you've come down just to stare at me, I would rather you didn't" said Malfoy bluntly.

"Why would I bother?" Bellatrix snapped back promptly.

The boy just smirked and continued staring into the fire. Bella set one bare foot in front of the other, unsure of whether to approach him or not. He didn't bother to look up. She shrugged and sat down on the sofa anyway.

"So what's got you up?" he asked sullenly.

"I couldn't sleep" said Bellatrix plainly.

"Yeah, I got that. Why though?"

"What's it to you, Malfoy?" she snapped.

This time it was his turn to shrug. Bellatrix joined him in staring into the fire. She found it oddly calming.

"So... who else is in this Dark Arts group?" she asked slowly.

"A few people"

And that was the end of that. What felt like hours, they just stared into the fire. All they could hear was the ticking of an old grandfather clock and the sound of each other's.

"Why do you love my sister?" Bellatrix didn't even mean to speak the question aloud, it just sort of came out.

It was odd question but one that had been pressing on her mind for months now. Malfoy didn't love anyone or anything, how is it he could find a speck of warmth in his cold heart for someone else?

Malfoy closed his eyes as if he were contemplating whether or not to leave and go to bed. But instead of getting up in a huff like Bellatrix expected, he just sighed.

"You're just like everyone else, you know that? Always looking at us behind your back wondering how is it that we could find it in our hearts to care for one another" Malfoy looked at her with bitter eye and Bella frowned.

Such bitter words spoken yet so full of truth. Malfoy wasn't done.

"And don't think I don't notice people looking at us. Don't think I don't know what they suspect. That I have to marry a Slytherin because my parents told me to, that I'm being coerced into pretending to care for someone so my life will be easy and organized"

Malfoy's sarcastic facade was starting to fade and Bellatrix could see the desperate boy- man- beneath.

"Malfoy, I-" she started to say.

"Don't. I don't need your apology" he snapped the last word.

Bellatrix looked at him imploringly. He wasn't done speaking, she could tell.

"I lo-" Malfoy halted, surprised at what he was about to say. Before now, Bella thought that his rude lips couldn't even shape the word. Malfoy coughed.

"I care very much for Narcissa. Let's just leave it at that"

And they did. They sat there while Bellatrix pondered Malfoy's words while Malfoy looked like a battle was raging inside of him. Another hour later and, feeling extremely drowsy, Bella dragged her lead feet up to her dormitory and slept.

Only Malfoy remained, staring into the fire.

*sigh*

So yeah, I've decided to update. Not that this story has been that successful so far but I was bored and the ending I'm planning is too good to give up on.

Anyway I hoped you enjoyed this chapter (apologies it is so short) and I hope you like what I have coming up.

I can't promise regular updates, if I can I can, and if I can't... well sucks to be you :P

Lots of love, Potterheads!

Kat xx