Kissing Men (BoyxBoy | Mature)

Chapter Sixty-Two

"Kaidan, what's up?" Sam asked as I clung onto him.

I stepped back, still freezing in the doorway. He seemed to realise and brought me inside, shutting the door behind me. He lead me upstairs to the living room, turning off the music as he did. The silence only made me feel worse.

"What happened?" he asked. "Is it your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I muttered. God, I wish he was. 

"Have you broken up? Oh, Kay... Want to talk about it?"

"No, I mean... We were never together in the first place. He... I..." I looked down at my knees, trying to think of a way to tell him the truth without mentioning the porn. 

"You can tell me anything, you know that," he said softly. 

That was what had me breaking down in tears again and everything just came tumbling out. 

"I-I was really struggling... For money a-and... So I went online and found th-this website... It was a porn agency a-and I applied."

"What? Seriously? Shit, Kaidan... You could have told me you were struggling so much, I would have helped you out. Hell, I even have a sofa you could sleep on. Where does the stripper come into all of this?"

"Well, he... He works for this agency too and because I'm a... virgin," I managed to stutter out, ignoring Sam's look of surprise, "they gave me, like... a tutor."

"And that was him?" he asked, trying to piece everything together.

I nodded, sniffling quietly. "And, uh... I've fallen in love with him..."

"That's not going to end well," he muttered to himself. 

"No shit, Sherlock," I scoffed tearily, wiping at my cheeks again. "H-He... Doesn't do feelings; he's had a bad life and... he... Well... We were staying with some of his friends because we went out last night and... This morning he completely freaked out, broke down... Ollie said it was because he realised he had feelings for me too."

"Ollie? That's one of his friends?" he asked. I nodded quietly. "What happened in his past?"

"I-I can't say," I murmured, taking a shaky breath to try and calm down. He nodded understandingly. "But--"

"But it's enough to emotionally scar him forever?" Sam finished for me. 

I nodded lamely, unsure what else I could say. Sam sighed and wrapped his arms around me again, holding me close. I'd stopped crying now, but I just felt... empty. 

"Can I stay here tonight?" I asked quietly, sounding calm. Far too calm. "I don't want to be alone."

"Of course. You can sleep in my bed." I shook my head quickly but he cut me off. "I mean it, you need it more than I do."

"You've got college tomorrow too," I muttered, feeling shitty. "And it's your house."

"Then how about we share?" he joked. 

"Can we?" I asked suddenly, looking up at him. 

He blinked in surprise but nodded anyway. "Sure thing. No homo though."

I laughed a little, smiling weakly. "No homo," I agreed with a small nod. 

He was smiling as he stood. "Are you hungry or anything? I've probably got something edible in the kitchen."

Shaking my head, I stood too. "I just want to sleep to be honest..."

"That's alright," he assured with a smile.