Kyman: Why A Monster Cries At Night

Why I Cry

Cartman's POV:

"I remember the first time I cut myself. I was 12 years old, and it was right after all of the guys at school made fun of me for being fat. So I thought about doing it. I heard of people doing it before. When I got home, my mom wasn't there- was probably whoring out with some guy. Anyways, I took a knife from the kitchen, took off my red sweater, and sliced my arm open. For a few seconds, I watched the blood leak to the floor, but then I came back to reality and I bandaged it up. After that, I continually did it, over and over again. I couldn't stop. It was like a drug that consumed me. But after my mom found out, she put an end to it. Though, it's been four years and I've been hopping around different therapists. Just none of them seem to work."

"Well, Eric, your mom shows that she cares about you by putting a stop to it." If she cares about me, why does she abandon me and leaves for days on end without any notice? Huh? She doesn't care. She just pretends to care.

"When was the last time you self harmed?" Dr. M asks me.

"Six months ago."

He nods, scribbling something on his notepad, as he says, "Good, good."

His timer goes off and he stands up, as do I. "Well, Eric, our time is up. Please see your way out the door." He opens the door for me and slams it behind me once I walk out.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

I look to the right of me to see Kyle sitting in the waiting room next to a crying Craig. I narrow my eyes at him. "I could say the same thing to you."

Kyle rubs Craig's back and stares at me in wonder. "I am here to support Craig. Alright? Now why are you here?"

I shrug. "Because I need therapy."

"You don't need therapy. You cause people to have to go to therapy."

I sigh. God, I hate him sometimes. But I deserve it for being such a little prick as a kid.

"Since when have you been friends with Craig?" I ask. "Because Stan doesn't want to be your best friend anymore?"

Kyle quickly stands up and glares at me, his hands clenched into fists. "He does want to be my best friend. He just needs some help."

"Then why are you getting so defensive?" I smirk and start to laugh. "Did I get on your nerves, Jew Boy?"

Instead of screaming something like "fuck you, Cartman", he calms down and says, "You wanna know why you're here, fatass? Because you cry at night because you don't have a father."

Okay, that hit pretty hard.

I stare down at the brown carpet, my jaw clenched. "Oh, so what if I do? At least I'm not a Jew like you who lets his friends down and pretends to care about other people." My eyes flick over to Craig. "Like Craig here." I look back up at Kyle to see that his face is bright red.

"Don't call me a fucking Jew!"

"Then don't call me a fatass."

I push past him and run over to my car, already feeling tears coat my vision. I scramble for my keys in my pocket, trying not to focus on the words that Kyle just said to me. You wanna know why you're here, fatass? Because you cry at night because you don't have a father.

I get in my car and drive off to my house, just wanting to get away from it all. I bet you he wouldn't be so mean to me if he knew about everything I went through. The anorexia, the cutting, the crying, trying to not come out to the world. I bet you then he'd be nice to me.