Till the End of the World

15. I could never be the one

Chapter 15: I could never be the one

Leo's POV

*****

"What the hell is wrong with you bro?" Alex said as soon as he caught up with me, making me stop in my tracks and turn to look at him. 

"I'm fine Alex," I replied, my tone harsher than I intended it to be.

I didn't know what was going over me. I tried so hard to keep my cool and hide my feelings, I tried so hard to not act up the way I did, but how could I even stop something that was so strong?

"Sure. You can't play me Leo, I know there's something going on between you and Maya and honestly, I'm starting to think that it has something to do with our relationship," he replied as if he could see right through me. 

How was I supposed to tell my best friend that I liked his girlfriend? I had tried so hard to hide my feelings for her, not wanting to make things difficult with him. I tried not to seem like his relationship with Maya affected me, but it did, and it hurt more than I thought it would. 

"You like her don't you?" Alex asked in realisation, sadness written all over his face. 

When I didn't say anything he angrily shook his head, making me feel like the most horrible friend in the world. 

"I knew you would. You told me you wouldn't but I knew you would," he said, shaking his head. 

Alex had liked her for so long, noticing how close we got in summer got him truly jealous. He got so jealous that he decided to make a move on her just so I wouldn't.

"I couldn't help it Alex, just like how you couldn't," I said. "You knew that she was my friend when we were younger, I told you how close we were, and yet you still went and made your freaking move," I angrily said.

He couldn't accuse me of being selfish when he practically did the exact same thing. 

"This is not my fault Leon. Don't try to pin this on me," he replied just as angrily. "I asked you if you liked her and you said that you didn't. I would have never made a move if you had said you did." 

I looked down in shame. He was right. Alex would have never tried to do anything to ruin our friendship, especially not over a girl. He was not that kind of person, and neither was I. The fact that my feelings made me think irrationally angered me. I was on the verge of losing the two most important people in my life, and it was all because I couldn't think straight when I was around Maya. I couldn't think straight when I saw her with my best friend, and I hated to think that I wished I was him. That I wished she was with me. 

But I didn't lie. At the time I didn't like Maya. She was just one of my closest friends. After summer ended, however, I started seeing her differently. When she started getting closer to Alex, the jealousy was overwhelming. 

"You're right, I'm sorry bro." I said.  

"You're hurting her, you know," he said, looking me dead in the eye.

I felt bad knowing that because of my actions, I was hurting one of the most important people in my life. Maya was always there for me when I needed her, she was the bestest friend that anyone could ever ask for. When she was finally on the verge of being happy with Alex, I went ahead and ruined all of it for her. If I didn't keep my distance, however, my feelings for Maya would never die out.

"I know, and you think I'm not hurting too? But Alex, I have to make these feelings go away somehow, and the closer I am to her, the more impossible it is. I can't have feelings for someone else's girlfriend, especially not yours. I can't do that to you."