The Darkness That Lives Within

This is my first story so please comment and let me know what you think. Now without any further delay, this is the beginning to my new story "The Darkness That Lives Within". Oh yeah I thought I might let you know ahead of time that this may be a very long series so be prepared to read a lot of parts to the story.

My name is Edward Holmes and from the city of New Orleans. Yes, for all those people who thinking this, I was on top of the roof of my momo when the flood waters of hurricane Katrina hit. But before I continue, let me tell you alil bit about myself. Im 5"9, dark skinned but lighter than a piece of chocolate, and very muscular from playing football and powerlifting. Aight so to continue from where I was.... I guess you can say dat this all happened while I was o the roof with my sister, momma, and my pops. There was this thick mist flowing from the way facing the gulf coast. Is slowly crept up like a wildcat stalkin a deer. As it crept towards us my family slipped in to the deep water without a trace, I had no clue what to but scream out. Nobody answered. Nobody ever answers when I call. I screamed till I felt like I could no longer breath, which caused me to pass and slip into the water myself. I felt the water slap and pull my deeper into the depths. I could only breath and swallow water that flowed into my lungs with every gasp. Slowly I felt my life slip away and watched as my mind faded into the nothingness that was known as death. Before I passed on I saw something.... A skin and bone like hand pull me back to the surface. I felt myself heaved onto what felt like a wooden boat and before I could say a word, I was devoured in smoke and my mind faded into the darkness.

I awoke from the thud my head made as I hit hard cement. The pain hit me like a helmet to helmet contact I get a practice. I open my slightly, only to close them cause of the sun rays that hurt my eyes. I tried to open them again to only be able to open only slightly. After a minute or so my eyes adjusted and allowed me to open them fully. I found myself on the Hugh B. long bridge. I turned around to see an old man that looked half dead with a black hooded jacket, staring into my eyes. It seemed as if he was peering into my soul, as if to find something that was once lost forever. "Who are you and where the hell is my family." I asked ready to run at any given moment. "Your family is dead. They are no longer part of this world and will not be for a long time." He said with a raspy voice as cold as the night wind. "Then why not let me die with them then?" I had with tears almost coming to my eyes. I felt them begin to roll until he said the most devilish words in my life. Those ten words were this. "You will replace me as the new dark soul reaper." Those words hit me with the intensity of a freight train that had no brakes and didn't plan on stopping. "What" I said as tears stop rolling and where replaced by something new. "Come with me. I have much to show you and I believe that you may take my offer." Then without hesitation or movement, he took and created what looked like a black aura that consumed the both of us. I wanted to scream but before I could even move I felt myself being grabbed by bones of the dead and within moments they pulled me deep into the earth.

I wake up on the cold hard floor with no one in sight. I didn't know where to go from here so, I thought I might just walk as far as my legs could physically take me.

In what seemed like the darkness in the sky, there was a council discussing the future of this dark soul that will soon become the death reaper. "He is the one sir. He just needs time to control the powers that he has not yet learned. He shall go through the same training as me and he shall learn like me. He will one day make an excellent reaper." " I sure hope so my friend...for both of our sakes because the war between the reapers will soon be at hand. We need to make sure he is ready...by the way, have you given him his scythe yet?". "No sir I haven't. he has not earned the right to carry the blade of a killer until he has passed the three trials of the death scroll. Without the discipline from the death scroll....he will become one of them."

So guys and girls what do you think of part one. Comment and let me know how I Tcan change it in any positive way. Trust me the story is going to get better. This is just the beginning.