(girlxgirl) Not All Roses in Roselake

Chapter 8: Violins

Chapter 8 – Violins

"Wes! Wes! Please!"

We were back at my house. Standing on that red porch under one little yellow light. The same porch Wes had kissed me many times before dropping me off. The same porch he waited on before school dances. The same porch we were fighting on now. It was late maybe one or two in the morning. The streets were completely pitch black. We were completely silent when we dropped off Amber and Vince. And now it was just the two of us.

"What Alyssa! What! You invite this girl just so you can cheat on me with her! Huh?"

"No, Wes please! We were just dancing that's it! That's it!"

"Just dancing my ass! Do you think I'm blind? She had her fucking hands all over you! Feeling up your ass and everything! 'Just dancing?' Are you kidding me?"

"Wes! We were just fooling around!"

"Oh save it! You weren't just fooling around! You're into her! Oh gosh! After everything that I've done for you! This! This how you treat me! Oh my gosh how did I not see it! That Playboy magazine wasn't for your brother it was for you! And that excuse that Amber used at the party wasn't an excuse at all was it? She is gay! Goddamnit! She is! How long has this been going on huh? How long?" "There's nothing going on between her and I! Nothing! We're not dating or anything! We're friends! We're friends!"

"Is that why you didn't want to have sex with me? Because you're gay?"

"That's not why and I'm not gay!"

"Then what are you?"

"I'm sorry Wes!"

"Do you have feelings for her?"

"Wes."

"Do you? Don't lie to me!"

No, no, no, no, no. I didn't know what to do. I looked at the sky.

"I don't have feelings for her. Wes."

"Gosh you can't even look me in the eyes when you say that!"

"Please!" "Please what? What do you want from me? Just what?"

"You're my best friend! I can't lose you! I love you too much!"

"You love me! You're not in love with me! Like do you even feel anything like absolutely anything when we kiss?"

"Wes why are you even asking me this? What is the point?"

"Answer me! Do you feel anything when we kiss?"

"You mean like down there?"

"I mean like anywhere anything at all!"

"It's a kiss Wes what the hell am I supposed to feel! I am supposed to hear violins playing in the background and and and fucking hear fireworks going off in the distance!"

"I just wish you'd feel something!"

Wes stepped off the porch, out of the little yellow light, and into the dark abyss.

"Don't bother calling or texting. I won't pick up."

"Wes please I'm sorry." I stepped off of the porch.

"Just don't follow me. You can't fix this." He got into his Honda and sped off.

I was shaking as opened the front door just plain covered in tears. He broke up with me. That was it. I knew what I did was wrong. I-I-I feel so bad. I fucked up so badly! This is all my fucking fault! God I just got so carried away! I should I have stopped! I knew I shouldn't have gotten so close with Amber! I knew it! This is all my fault! Now I lost one of the closet people in my life! Goddamnit! I'm so fucking stupid!