Frosted Windows

Nov. 1

November 1st... Only 14 more days.

I don't remember how I got into my bed, but when I woke up, I was lying under my sheets.

With a stretch, I walk up to my vanity and notice my face, smothered in makeup. Looks like I had a rough night last night.

"Ugh...Guess I'll just take a shower."

I grab a makeup wipe, grab some new clothes, and a towel. Stepping into my bathroom, I pull off the Rize costume and step into the cold, porcelain tub. It sent shivers up my spine. Slowly, I grab the metal handle in front of me and turn it to the left.

Cold water rushes like a waterfall onto my forehead.

"EEEEK!" I flinch away from the water that purposefully woke me and wait for it to warm up.

Once the water is a scorching hot, I step into the steam.

'I wonder why Mark's been so...how do I put this. Protective? and touchy? I mean, this is what I wanted right? And lest we forget Sean, he's becoming real close. Like, REALLY close.

Maybe he wishes I was HIS little sister.'

I chuckle at that thought.

                                         ————

"Maybe I'll take the contacts off now. Haha." I say to myself as I reach for the preciously forgotten contacts in my eyes.

"Girl, you look so fine~." I say sarcastically to my reflection with finger guns. I never thought that was true. Ever.

"Huh...so ugly. Why are you still alive? Just jump..Go. Do it. I dare you to." Her words...Her voice is so clear in my mind. It almost sounds like she's right beside me-

I turn around to find no one.

It was me. And only me.

I was the one who said it...

This ugly hair, this gross pale skin. These cold hands. These boring, dark eyes...They've lost their determination.

Is it raining? Funny, I thought rain was cold, but it's warm and salty.

The rest of the day, I stayed in my room. I didn't even go out to eat breakfast or dinner.

I wonder where Sean and Mark are...

But I don't want to go out. Yeah, I'll just stay in here and draw. And starve myself.

I grab my sketchbook and pencil. Currently I'm working on Darkiplier. Mark's worked pretty hard for that jawline, it's almost...I don't know. Motivating...?

Gotta admit, Darkiplier is sexy, but I like Damien more. Definitely deserved better. But he totally just, forgot about the viewer when Celine appeared.
#y/ndeservedbetter.

Man, sometimes I wonder if Darkiplier watches over us, the viewer. Sounds pretty sweet.

I wonder if he's ever going to THANK US for giving him our body.

"MEI!! We're back!" Mark and Sean burst through my bedroom door, making me screech something inhuman.

"Watcha drawing?" Mark asks as he and Sean stop in the middle of my room, with a small cardboard box.

"Oo Oo Oo! Lemme see!" Sean jumps to my side.

I quickly shut my sketchbook and hold it against my chest, showing Sean my threatening face.

I'm trying to tell him 'no' with my expression. Haha.

"Come on, pleeeeaaaaase?" Sean begs as he sits on his knees beside my bed.

"No can do ya leprechaun..." I ruffle Sean's green hair.

I hope he takes that as a joke...I can't take that back now.

"Aw! You're a meanie. And racist." Sean pouts.

"I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU!" I immediately shout out and attempt to hide under my covers.

"Pffft, It's alright, that doesn't bother me. I take that as a complement. Perhaps I could give you my pot of gold." He comes right up to my ear and whispers. "That is...only if you're a good girl."

I slap Sean's arm.

"Haha, I was just kiddiiiiiiing~. I forgive you." Sean pulls me into a side hug.

"We brought back steak for you. We went to The Keg." Mark holds up the takeout box...Then stares blankly at me and Sean...and gently places the box down on my desk.

"GET OFF OF MY SISTER SEAN!" Mark jumps at Sean.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Sean yells with all his might. Mark grabs his ear.

"Seeya later, Mei." Mark waves with a forced smile and pulls Sean away.

"Bye-bye Meiiii!" Sean says with a cheer in his voice. "OW."

I watch as they exit my room without closing the door. UGH. I really dislike it when people do that. But...

Sean is very touchy, as I thought yesterday. Mark is being very protective. Is this enough to keep me here?

I don't mean to just suddenly make this all depressing but... I can't help it. My heart. It hurts.

I begin to grab my hair and tug on it harshly. Tears begin to form in my eyes.

'Stop being so ungrateful!' My jaw is clenched, the tears are falling.

I-I can't... I don't want this. I want them to be free of me.

————

(12:50 am)

I head downstairs with my throw blanket, food, and phone in hand.

In the living room, I see Mark and Sean playing a movie on the TV.

"What're you guys watching?" I ask as, taking a jump off of the last step.

"We're having a Marvel movie marathon." They say in unison.

"Dude...that'll take like, two whole days." My brows furrow at their decision.

"Exactly." Mark nods his head.

"Don't you have videos to record?"

"Oh, don't worry, I go some prerecorded. And besides, my time here will be mostly vlogs." Sean says happily.

"Hm." Is all I can let out while watching my steak heat up in the microwave.

Here we go...