My Twelve Random Dates

Chapter One: I, Uh, I Uhmm

She saluted me and wished me luck.
The man was at the location I had told him to pick me, I didn't know if it was safe to give him the house address, so I just gave him an address close to our house. Nigeria is not exactly too safe, not that any place was that safe. The world was becoming too evil and precautions were necessary , the man might turn out to be a kidnapper, you can never tell with all the horrible things happening in the country besides Facebook doesn't identify murderers. At the thought of that I felt an ounce of fear and a very tingly sensation in my heart.

I knew he would park outside the street, the vigilantees always made sure that cars were not allowed into our street at that time, except some occupants whose face they were familiar with.

By the time I had gotten to where he was standing, I was already sweating, heels!. Women should be handed awards for this amount of stress.

When he saw me he offered his hand and I shook it, before he gestured that we leave. When we got to his car he opened the door for me to enter and my inner thoughts were already grading him

98% for being a gentleman "

We drove off and we came to a halt at a restaurant, I didn't bother to even check the name. My phone buzzed and it was a picture from my little sister, she made a chart for my dates, labelled it "12 dates by chi". It even had a compartment for assessment, funny girl.

We went in and sat a table, it was then that I finally saw his face clearly and his outfit too. I was definitely overdressed

Inner thoughts:"and you came for the grammys "

He was actually cute and neat, that was all I could say, his beards were neat and he looked neat.
A waiter walked to our table and took our orders, I saw a local delicacy "goat meat pepper soup and I decided to balance it with rice, if the date doesn't go well at least my tummy would be happy. Did I mention that my inner thought and I were probably like two annoying friends always bickering. Well I was used to keeping to myself that it became a habit to talk to another version of myself

Inner thoughts:good thinking girl!

He ordered for the same thing and I offered him a smile.
I waited for him to start up a conversation but he didn't so I just dove in

" you look really good, I mean most people don't look the same as they do on Facebook, with all the filters and fake things "

He only laughed and became silent again. He kept staring at the ceiling like there was something special about it,then his hands couldn't keep still. He was fidgeting, was I making him nervous or something?

Inner thoughts: way to go amaka, you got yourself a shy man

I tried not to look up, fought the urge to find out what he was actually looking at but it was to no avail. I finally joined him and I didn't spot anything special about it, except maybe something that looked like a gecko.

I quit stating at the ceiling  and asked him another question

" So ummm what do you do? Do you have a job or something?"

One of the most important questions that my friend Laura schooled me to ask the guys.

He smiled and responded, making sure to avoid any form of eye contact, this time he was looking at the table.
" I umm, I uh, I umm, I, I, i"

Inner thought: great he is a stammerer way to go

Would you just shut up!"

I reprimanded my inner thought and maybe I was too loud. Because he halted and finally looked at me coupled with the other heads that turned to look at us.

"I'm sorry I wasn't referring to you, please continue, you were what? "

"I am an accountant, I work in a bank. Guarantee trust bank, it has been my dream though my parents would have wanted me to become a doctor, we own so many hospitals . you uh you ummm, it's just that I ummm I, I,

Inner thought :here we go again🙁

Any moment from now please, I kept wishing
"It's just that you are beautiful, very beautiful, I uh I uh, I, I, I, I,

Inner thought: how many letter I's does he keep in his mouth

" I didn't know what to wear, working in a bank makes me wear suits a lot, you..you know formal. Attire , so I thought I'd go casual this time"he said tapping on the table

" it's fine, thank you for the compliment you look handsome in your attire"well he did look handsome, his body looked quite fit, atleast he hands didn't stutter when he works out. He also had the most attractive smile and his lips appeared quite...

Inner thought:🙄🙄stop checking him out

The food arrived and we ate in utter silence,at a point I was wondering what exactly we came to do at the restaurant. Was I intimidating him? I mean I don't even look intimidating, or was it the outfit normally other guys would dwell on that, sexy beautiful lady. This one was just chewing his meat like he was in front of a Police officer, with a gun pointed to his head forcing him to eat
It was 2 hours of pure torture and when he decided it was time to drop me off I was excited

Inner thought :the storm and the silence is over!!

When we got to his car I thought he would drive off immediately, but instead he brought out a cigarette and lit it.
I sat quietly praying for oxygen to stay with me, I hated cigarettes. Why take things that'll ruin your organs?
" I uh I, I, I, I, "

Father lord please save me" I muttered

Am i, uh are you uncomfortable? "he asked clearly sensing my discomfort
I only managed to smile and nod.

" Am I supposed to be comfortable when you are choking the life out of me" I thought still managing to force a fake smile

Inner thoughts :gentle man grade falls to 40%

"I'm sorry it's just that I feel tensed, you make me feel tense, I smoke when I am tensed , I freak out around women "

He threw out the cigarette and started the car. "How do the customers at GT bank cope with him, I hope he is not in the customer care unit or even a cashier.
When we got to where he was supposed to drop me, he picked up a package and handed it over to me.

"I, uh, i, I, I, " he began to stutter again

Father in heaven!! " how hard could talking without stuttering be?

"I had a feeling that I would ruin this date, I usually get uncomfortable around beautiful women and I'm sorry for choking you, I didn't mean it. I'd totally understand if you don't want to hangout out with me or see me, I get lonely most times, I don't even have friends and I truly need a friend . Just take this, please don't reject it" he looked very sad and I was touched by that, I could relate to an extent, well even if we didn't date we could be friends.

Inner thought:grade 60%

When I got down I wanted to walk away but I felt the need to do something, so I told him to come out and when he did I hugged him. He deserved that bit for being honest and sweet.
I could tell he was pleased because I found it difficult to wiggle out of his grip. This man was definitely lonely, his bear hug almost bruised my sides

When I got home Ada was waiting for me and when she asked about the date, I started with "I, I, I, I, I uh, till I walked into the room took a pen , wrote his name under day one and graded him 60%. Ada's chart seemed to be quite useful.

I uh will tell you tomorrow" I said laughing.
Ada was confused but it only made it funnier

Hey everyone!

So tell me what you think about this!
I had to write with the emojis to express how her inner thought interacted with her and also to create a picture of the face she made mentally.

Do you have a crazy inner thought?