I have always Wondered why it is so hard to accept myself.
For most of my life I lived tried to live up to other peoples expectations of me and I still am even after realising it.
I always feel inadequate
I do what I do to make people proud of me, but they are oblivious;
Oblivious to my hardwork,
Oblivious to the pretend mask that i put on
Oblivious enough to believe a make believe person i have become.
They are the reason for my actions yet they don't even bat an eyelash to make sure that i am okay, they don't care that i am losing me as long as they are gaining the me that they want me to be.
Like a high tide taking over the beach, their words consume me. Roughly gliding onto the gentle slopes of my mind and making me change the way i otherwise would have chosen to live my life; that's not all: they consumed my dreams too they made me bottle them up and let go of them into the vast ocean but like a message from the future the bottle always comes back, back and back again to torture me by reminding me of all the stars that i could have painted.
what then is adequacy? to merely exist like the world wants me to and even still never measuring up or to live like i need to, in order for me to be enough for the man who created me and the future me that's being made second by second.
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
POETRY
ŞiirAs the days come and go... the sun turns into the moon and like a withered flower i am feeling low. -so filled with the fear of going too soon. for that i fill the earth with the words from my mind so that ages from now someone may find- and forev...
