IT & ST Imagines & Preferences

if i could tell her ~ beverly marsh

Sorry I haven't updated in ages! I'll be more active now because my exams are over and it's summer in just over a month YAY! This is based off the song 'If I Could Tell Her' from the Broadway musical 'Dear Evan Hansen'. The link to the song is above if you want to play it when it says to.
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Basically in this Beverly is Bill's little sister and it wasn't Georgie who went missing, it was Bill instead. Oh and btw, the spacing is intentional!
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"Bev stop blaming yourself!" I exclaimed, sitting on her bed beside her.
"But I didn't protect him! I know we didn't get on but I still should've been there." Beverly sighed. "Regardless of the ongoing feud between us."
"What was the argument even about?"
"It doesn't matter." She shook her head. "Bill didn't care Y/N, he won't even miss me. It's time to face facts."
"Bev, listen, I'm best friends with both the Denbroughs. Beverly AND Bill. And trust me, he will miss you. And we're gonna find him." I said. "I promise."
"Y/N you don't know that, he might be dead and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye or to tell him that I thought the opposite of him of what he thought of me." She buried her head in her hands.

^Play song at top now^

"He thought you were...awesome." I put a hand on her wrist gently.

"He thought I was awesome?" She lifted her head up slightly to look at me. "My brother?"

"Definitely!"

"How?"

"Well..." I smiled, then for some reason began to sing. "He said, there's nothing like your smile, sort of subtle, and...perfect, and real. He said, you never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel."

A smile was slowly spreading across my best friend's face, so I kept going, listing all the things I could remember.

"And he knew, whenever you get bored you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans." This made her giggle a little. "And he noticed, that you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines."

I shifted onto my knees and faced her, making her do the same. "But he kept it all inside his head, what he saw, he left unsaid. And though he wanted to, he couldn't talk to you. He couldn't find a way. But he would always say...if I could tell her, tell her everything I see. If I could tell her, how she's everything to me. But we're a million worlds apart. And...I don't know how I would even start. If I could tell her. If I could tell her."

"Did he say anything else?" Beverly asked eagerly.

"A-about you?" I frowned.

She brushed her hair behind her ears awkwardly. "No never mind I don't really care anyways, I just-"

"No, no, no, no, he said so many things, I'm just trying to remember the best ones! So..." Yeah I said that, but I couldn't remember shit more than what I'd already said, but I still found myself carry on. "Erm...he thought, you looked really pretty," Oh god that sounded weird, "Erm..hehheh...it looked pretty cool when you cut your hair to your ears." (lyric change lol)

"He did?!" She beamed brightly and I laughed along with her.

"And he wondered, how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn't there." I stared into her green sparkly eyes and as I carried on singing, I realised that I wasn't repeating what Bill said anymore, I was telling her what I thought, from my mind, via my mouth. "But he kept it all, inside his head, what he saw, he left unsaid. If I could tell her, tell her everything I see. If I could tell her, how she's everything to me,"

"But we're a million worlds apart." Beverly and I sang at the same time and as she considered my E/C eyes, I wondered if she too could feel the growing connection between us.