This Book Goes Out To You

Chapter One

“BROTHER! SOMETHING CAME IN THE MAIL FOR US,” Lilith shouted in the guttural language that is Lower Demonic. “Smells like magic and annoyance. A God wrote this, and not a pleasant one at that.”

“Lily it’s five am. You woke up the entire neighborhood. And we don’t have mail here.” Lucy groaned, rolling over in his bed, or trying to. His wing got caught in the slats of his bunk bed. Stupid human-made beds. “Fine. I’m up.” He jumps off the bunk, making sure to make the loudest crash he could, waking up his twin sister.

“Lucifer Morgenstern, you’re my brother and I love you, but you are a bag of dicks.” She mutters. Her bird-of-paradise wings are folded on her back, and Lucy ignores her and marches past the partition that is his and his siblings’ bedroom.

The house is very small. Technically it’s one room, but there’s two partitions , one separating his moms’ room, and one separating his and his siblings’ room. Lily is already up, their raven wings and jagged horns casting an odd shadow on the wall. They’re wearing the customary backless shirt, with a tie at the back of their neck and waist, to allow for their wings. It’s customary for women and nonbinary people, men are usually shirtless.

“Lilith, is there a reason you were shouting at five in the morning?” Azazael is groggy, and being a fallen angel, she’s usually nocturnal, but raising three devils means she had to get up in the morning. Honestly, I feel her.

Who am I, you ask? I’m Abi. My friend over there is Violette, we’re goddexes. Authors. Technically the same thing. Welcome to Peklo, the poorest of the nineteen countries of Thavawole. With a population of 1256, it has the third lowest population of anywhere in the world. It’s mostly devils, but there’s a couple witches and fallen angels.

“Sorry Mama, but we were found eligible for the ACCESS Academy for the Magically TAG. WE PASSED THE ENTRANCE TEST.”

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Kirael yells.

“Wrong swear word, Mom,” Lilith corrects.

“TOO FUCKING BAD.”

“Open it!” Azazael yells.

“Dear Morgensterns, we have the pleasure of inviting you to the ACCESS Academy for the Magically Talented and Gifted. We were unsure if you would pass the test, as we have never had a devil attend our academy before, however, you performed outstandingly. Enclosed is a list of rules, requirements and supplies. However, your son cannot continue to remain shirtless throughout the school year.”

“What’s a shirt?” Lucy asks, confused and… actually just confused.

“Not an issue.”

~~~

Those squiggles are about as straight as Lucy. Never mind, currently the Morgensterns are at the airport on Fiku, boarding an airplane. Hang on, imagine a record scratch. You don’t know where Fiku is. It’s the continent nearest to Peklo. It has a population of 5165, composed mainly of fallen angels, cast out of Nebe.

This story seems to go fast, but trust us, it slows down and there’s a plot. Seriously. Stay.

“Be good, don’t build a pillow fort in the basement because you don’t understand a thing they’re saying, don’t hide on the roof, don’t do drugs, don’t give in to peer pressure, and get a fucking boyfriend,” Azazael says as she hugs Lucifer goodbye. “That goes for you too, Alexia, get a girlfriend, or boyfriend. And Lilith, the don’t do drugs thing is for you. Get a girlfriend who will actually be a good influence this time.”

“Take your medicine, and Lucy, we all know you’re gay. You wear too much makeup to be straight. Lily, seriously, find someone who’s a good influence on you,” Kirael added, kissing all three of her children and stepping back to stand by her wife. In case it wasn’t clear, Lucy, Lily and Lexi have gay moms. Not that difficult to get, but any homophobes reading this can just step off (A brick wall), this is going to get very gay. So… just put the book down now and never look at it again.