Probably

Chapter 18

Words

A/n: guys we are slowly reaching the end of 'probably'😢😢
I'll be writing only 4 more chapters. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Words often play a major impact in our lives. They sound like the most harmless things but in reality, they can be the most lethal weapon if misused. The wounds that words create can never heal unlike the wounds created by physical weapons. Words last a life time. They set context to love and war, inspiration and regret. They summarise your past, describe your present and define your future.

Words don't need a suitable place or timing to show there charm. All they need is two people to spark a conversation. Most of us fall prey to this trick that words play. I realised this a week ago, the night when I had a heart attack.

It had been a week since I had been released from the hospital. I was still in France, now living in my old apartment. The breath-taking view outside my room no longer excited me. Especially not after what happened with Antoine that night. To be honest nothing excited me anymore. I just wanted these days to end some how so that I just leave this world without any worldly attachments.

Antoine stayed with me in the apartment, along with Mary and Justin, for almost 20 hours in a day, out of guilt I think, so that he could help around and mend his mistake. I used to see him working around daily but both of us put in equal effort to make sure that are eyes didn't meet. If someone, who was not aware of our situation saw the two of us, they would feel that we were venting our anger out on each other. But the truth was that both of us were ashamed of what we had done and said to each other. We were embarrassed to look into each other's eyes.

Antoine always came into my room and helped around when I was sleeping. He would often sit by my bed side and speak to me when he thought I was asleep. But I never was. I heard everything he said but I just didn't have any strength left to engage in a conversation with him. Every word he spoke broke my heart, piece by piece, but I just couldn't speak to him.

Alex and I broke off the "engagement" because it was just a scheme which was meant to keep Antoine away from me and my illness. But now he knows. So, I let Alex live his life happlily with Crimsyn.

Mia has been staying with Crimsyn this past week. Antoine wasn't very happy with the idea but someone spoke to him and hence he agreed to let Mia spend thanksgiving and spring break (once she starts going to school)with Crimsyn and Alex, who were getting married within two weeks.

It seems after all, Antoine and Alex have to see eye to eye because they both share the responsibility of a little Angel.

Alex is a good guy by heart. He always was. I am happy to have had his love and care for so many years, eventhough he did cheat on me, and I am truely happy that Crimsyn is now being pampered by it. Alex will always love me but probably not in the same way as before. And frankly, I was happy about this. To be honest I was never really hurt by the news that he was cheating on me because my heart was never his to break. It was always Antoine's to begin with.

I haven't been doing much in the last few days. All I do is sleep, watch some tv and sleep some more. I can't eat any of my favourite food. Instead I have to eat healthy food. Ugh!

So, my life has become boring and I am not even a bit interested in surviving anymore. Of course, it will hurt my parents and Mary and Antoine for some time after I am gone but they'll be absolutely fine after that. Any which ways it's going to happen in the future.

Anyways, as I mentioned, today was no different from the last 7 days. The only thing that was different was the date and the day. I watching "The French kiss" on tv. The movie was my favourite romantic movie but now just looking at it made me want to puke. My life till now has made me realise that romance looks good only in movies... but in real life... let's not get into that topic now.