jaeyong ✧ skindeep

One

― situations such as: attempts at purging, laxative - diuretic abuse, fasting and excessive exercise are all based off my own current experience with bulimia. ―

this fic is NOT meant to glamourize or encourage any of the situations listed above. as contradicting as it is, please don't attempt any of it.
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Taeyong shoved his fingers in the back of his throat, awaiting the feeling of nausea to overcome his senses. Once the clouded sensation was felt, he pulled his fingers out of his mouth, only waiting very few seconds before ridding himself of his breakfast accompanied by the stinging feeling in the back of his throat. The slight feeling of ease became omnipresent in his emotions at the time. He tiredly picked himself up before flushing the toilet, rinsing his mouth and washing his hands. His fingers grasped the silver bathroom knob, stepping out into the tobacco scented house. He held his breath, rushing up into his room and locking the door. 

He silently shoved his books into his backpack, slowly beginning to panic hearing his father's drunken footsteps approach the door. He threw his black sweater over his bruised arms, shortly after rushing out of his room and down the hall. He exited the house, slamming the door behind him. 

His heavy eyelids remained fixated on the puddle-stained ground while his mind was immersed in the music coming from his earbuds. The weight of his backpack pressured against his shoulders, giving Taeyong the uncomfortable sensation of when a bruise is touched.

He silently walked into his crowded school building, making his way to his locker without a word to anyone. Students lined against the lockers and filled the center of the halls, leaving it difficult to push through. Taeyong walked to his classroom which was usually quiet as everyone would still be conversing in the halls.

He squeezed his backpack strap tightly before sliding open the door, his eyes awkwardly meeting with the only other person there. Taeyong awkwardly laughed, murmuring a,"Hi", to him and sitting down at his desk. He dropped his books onto his desk, silently seating himself while the other watched him.

The boy sitting at the opposite end of the class leaned towards Taeyong's direction on his desk,"Your name's Taeyong, right?"

Taeyong perked his head up, half heartedly smiling at the boy,"Yeah."

"I'm Doyoung," he said as he ran his long fingers through his jet black hair.

Taeyong picked his jeans with his index finger, thinking of what to reply with. Yet, before he could get a single word out from his lips, the door slid open. Another boy walked in, his shoulders slightly broad and his skin pale. He approached Doyoung in a mannerism that told Taeyong they were close. He sat to the left of Doyoung only after hanging his backpack on his chair. Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek, silently relieved.
He blocked out what ever the two conversed about only until Doyoung called out to him,"Taeyong."

Taeyong shot his head to Doyoung, his eyes almost immediately met the other boy's.

"This is Jaehyun."

He'd only slightly recognized Jaehyun as he was part of the school basketball team and a heartthrob at the school. How cliche.  For a split second, Taeyong was dumbstruck with just how attractive Jaehyun was. He softly shook his head, bringing his thoughts back to reality,"Uh, hi. I'm Taeyong."

Jaehyun flashed a smile at Taeyong, his dimples revealing themselves in the process,"Nice to meet you, Taeyong."

Taeyong nodded his head, unsure of what to do in this situation. Luckily, the sudden rush of students in the classroom as the bell rung saved him.

~~~~

Half of the day had already passed, now with an hour break for lunch ahead of them. Taeyong scooted out of his seat and headed straight for the door, only to be halted by Doyoung's voice inviting him to eat lunch with them.

"Uh, I'd like to but I can't really."

Doyoung leaned his cheek against his palm,"Huh. Okay."

Taeyong rushed out of the classroom once Doyoung finished talking and headed to his locker where he then snatched his backpack from inside of it and left to the school courtyard.

Taeyong walked around the school to an area only he ever used; specifically so no one would have to see him eat. Once he sat himself in the secluded area, he unzipped his backpack and almost immediately pulled out the food which he stashed in there, consuming the excessive amount of food in barely any time.

Afterwards, he stuffed the trash into his backpack and went back into the school building and rushed to the bathroom. He locked himself in the stall, bending himself over the toilet, only waiting a couple seconds to make sure no one would come in before thrusting his fingers in his mouth till he heavily gagged. All that followed next was Taeyong lazily hanging his head over the vomit filled toilet bowl. He flushed the toilet, then exited the stall.

Taeyong tightly gripped either side of the porcelain sink. He tugged up one side of his cotton shirt, revealing purplish bruises painted along his torso. He softly ran his hand over his ribs, then examining the size of his abdomen. Taeyong bit on his tongue, feeling disgusted with the current size of his body.

Abruptly, the bathroom door swung open, Taeyong immediately reacted by tugging his shirt down. Jaehyun stepped in, his shoes clicking against the tile. Taeyong sheepishly smiled at Jaehyun before washing his hands, wanting to get out of this confined space as soon as he could. Just as his fingers wrapped around the doorknob, Jaehyun's voice interrupted,"Taeyong."

Taeyong gazed at Jaehyun,"Yes?"

"You know you're fine the way you are, right?"

Taeyong's pupils dilated at this question. No one else was present in the bathroom when he threw up. He was always extremely cautious. So how? Unless he was just over thinking it and Jaehyun only meant it as a compliment.

Taeyong sheepishly smiled through his pulsating heartbeat,"What? Of course." He then quickly left the bathroom without a word.

"You're over thinking. You're over thinking. You're over thin- What if he knows?"

Frustrated, Taeyong ran his fingers through his jet-black locks. He anxiously tapped his foot against the tile, his fingers tapped in unison with his foot against the desk. Constantly debating whether he should ask Jaehyun if he knew anything, though that would either spark his curiosity if he didn't know or it would make Taeyong directly confront him if he did know. Then, if Jaehyun did know something maybe it would be best to avoid him and let him forget.

Jaehyun walked back into the classroom, seating himself next to Doyoung's empty desk. Taeyong stole a glace at him before turning his line of sight to the windows. He simply let the question go before doodling on the corner of his notes.

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