18- Funny Bone

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RIECE—

Both Edon and Lady Sera moved into the room behind Lhiam, smiling gently down at me.

"How are you feeling, your majesty?"

I was too distracted by irritation at Cain to correct Lady Sera and ask her to call me by my name. Again. So instead, I nodded and tried to sit up. I was held back by a stubborn, firm arm and a low growl.

"Hold still," Cain said sternly and I rolled my eyes, leaning back against him and sticking out my lips like a pouting child.

Lady Sera pulled back the blankets and examined my bandage quickly and efficiently, then Cain's, before covering us back up and handing us each a cup of tincture each.

"This will help with the pain, and promote healing. It tastes terrible, but drink it all anyways," she ordered, before bowing to me, smirking familiarly down at Cain, and leaving with a swish of skirts.

"My men?" I asked Lhiam, terrified to hear the answer. I reached forward and laced my fingers with Cain's, taking comfort in his soft, heavy breaths, his strength at my back. "How did they all fare?"

Lhiam's face fell a little, but he stood a little straighter, his hands behind his back. A soldier at attention.

"You lost Luc, Riece. I'm so sorry. We tried... He was dead when we got back to your camp. The rest were injured, with varying degrees of seriousness. Tedd lost some fingers, Dean may lose his left hand. Lady Sera is hopeful for his recovery, but infection has set in, and she's unsure if it's worth the risk of trying to wait and see if Dean can beat it back. Other than that, they're all healing. Your men fought well, your majesty. You should be proud."

My shame knew no bounds as I scoffed at Lhiam's words. If it were up to me, we likely all would have been killed in that clearing. It was only due to Cain's "secret" training sessions with them that we had survived.

"Luc's body?" I asked quietly, Cain's hand in mine tightening. I wondered if he sensed my shame or my grief. Luc had been an old friend; he had been by my side since I was a child.

"We sent him back to Swyer Palace, so his family could inter him. We didn't want to wait—"

"—You did the right thing," I cut in. "They'll have a family funeral, and when I return he'll be honored as a hero."

After reassuring both Lhiam and a blushing Edon, who seemed flustered that Cain held me in his arms as if I belonged there with no regard to the fact we had visitors, that I felt amazing and I was obviously healing well, Cain and I were left alone. We sat in silence, and I began to doze off, before Cain answered a question I had wondered, but hadn't yet voiced: Where was I?

"My beast didn't like the idea of you away from me," he whispered against my hair, his hand moving up to twine his fingers with mine. Then our joined hands were resting on my chest, and I knew he could feel and likely hear the way my heart pounded against his body. "He wanted you in my bed."

"Well at least one of you can stand me," I joked, unsure why he sounded so upset at the confession that I was in his bed in the guard's barracks, rather than in my suite of rooms, because he had liked the idea of me in his bed. Or, at least, his beast did.

"I like you," he breathed so quietly I may not have heard him if I wasn't listening to every breath and sound he made with my entire body.

"Yeah?"

"I more than like you," he mumbled, before brushing his teeth against my shoulder and making me shudder. "But there's... Riece, I..."

"It's alright," I answered, smiling at the way his entire body seemed to be moving on its own, without his input, to pull me as close as possible. To touch as much of me as he possibly could. "Let's just rest for now, alright? I'll likely be here a few days, so we have plenty of time to figure things out, you and I."

He nodded against my cheek, rubbed up against my stubble with his own, a cat's affectionate gesture, before sighing.

"Do you want to go to your suite up near Lhiam's—" he began, but I cut him off with a low hiss.

"— No. Not even a little bit. Your beast likes me in your bed? I like being in your bed. It took me months to get here. You can pry me away when I'm good and damn ready."

Cain's chuckle carried us into a comfortable silence, until we both slept the healing sleep we needed.

CAIN—

We were on my bed for a week before I was able to broach the answers I knew Riece deserved. If for nothing else, he deserved to know why I could never return his love.

And why he needed to move on from his infatuation with me.

We spent the week in each other's arms, sleeping, talking, and laughing. Riece frequently begged me not to make him laugh, for his stomach wound pulled when he did, but I found it hard not to. Not only did I love the sound of it as it echoed off the walls around me, but it was far too easy to amuse him. I had not a funny bone in my body until I met the man, and now I had a hard time not smiling and laughing like an idiot.

Riece told me more about his growing up, his fears of not being a good enough leader for his people, and how hard it was to find anyone to trust when everyone around him had their own agendas and desires for power. He talked of his children, and for the first time I realized they were more to him than drunken mistakes that he couldn't get rid of. He loved them each, and cared for them very deeply.

My beast was pleased that my mate cared so well for his cubs, and even his past lovers. Riece seemed ready to defend his decision to house the women in his own palace, rather than hiding them and the children away in distant castles so they were out of the way like many in his position would, and like he was expected to, but I was proud of his choice to keep his family close and care for them. He spoke of the women who had given birth to his cubs as if they were friends, almost like sisters, and it made him smile to talk about his cubs and their antics.

He had three cubs— a boy and two girls. Jon was the eldest, and had just turned six. Then the girl he called Gailu was three, and the youngest, Dierdre, not yet two. They were being raised, he told me, as siblings, rather than rivals. And while many expected Jon to be his heir, Riece expressed a desire to choose which of his children he thought fit to rule, no matter their sex or age. He would raise each as if they would be Emperor, and the honor would be placed on the one he deemed worthy and capable of bearing the great burden.

And he made it clear it was more a burden than anything else.

When he spoke of the children's mothers, his voice was soft and hesitant, as if afraid I would be angry at his past sexual exploits. I was far from it. I was glad he had some in his life that seemed to care for him, even just a little, and that he saw as family. A little makeshift family he had made in his fumbling search for love and validity. The way he spoke of them calmed my beast as well. For there was affection, but I could sense no lingering feelings, nor regrets. They'd had a physical relationship, a miracle had come from it, and they would be tied for life. But they were not his wives, and my beast cared little for his past, only that he was mine now.

Not mine, I growled at myself as much as my beast. He can't be mine.

My beast ignored me, basking in the feel of our mate in our arms.

Then finally, I was able to get out the words I knew Riece was patiently waiting for me to speak.

"I met Kile when I was barely 15," I began, with no little hesitation and insecurity.

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