Soulless Violet

I

It was evident she wanted to do anything but. And yet, she replied, "Ready."

Jack cleared his throat dramatically, making me giggle.

"HaPPy bIRTHdAy tO YOU..." he began singing horrendously off-key. Followed by Miss Florence who's voice sounded more like warm butter.

For a second, I'd forgotten how shit life felt; listening to both of them. It was as if nothing was wrong. As if nothing had happened. Which made coming back to reality even harder when they finished.

"...hAPpY BIRthDaY TO YOU!" Jack ended with a theatrical bow. "Thank you! Thank you!"

I applauded. "A marvelous performance!"

"Do I hear an encore coming?" Jack said, cupping a hand over his ear.

"No you do not," Miss Florence replied. "Bath. Now."

He turned to me and shrugged. "Sorry, boss says no."

"No worries." I chuckled, ruffling his mop of brown hair. "Go on, Stinky."

One last birthday wish later, they were gone and I was alone again.

Resisting the seductive pull of fatigue, I managed to climb out of bed and to my private bathroom. Out of habit, I flipped on the light and glanced at the reflection in the mirror; regretting it instantly.

A pale, fragile stranger stared back. Her oily dark brown hair—tangled from lack of brushing—fell far passed bony shoulders. Hazel-colored eyes were dulled in contrast to the bloodshot whites of her eyes, and dark circles of purple framed the bottom lids. An old, stained school hoodie and sweatpants had been the attire chosen for the past week. I was surprised Miss Florence hadn't made a comment.

Ashamed of not recognizing my own appearance and running low on the want for self-care, I threw my hair into a half-assed bun, abandoning any efforts to fix the mess of my guise. Who was I trying to impress anyways? I explained away.

Bzzt! Bzzt! My phone buzzed.

Closing the bathroom door behind me, I snatched it off the nightstand and left the room; coming to a slow halt in the hallway when I opened the text message displayed on the tiny single-colored screen. It read:

Terra:
Happy birthday bestie! How r u? I miss u. Call me!

I wanted to.

To call her up and tell her how miserable I felt. How I missed the city and the trips to our favorite Ramen spot. But life wasn't the same anymore... I wasn't the same anymore. Idle talk wouldn't fix what was wrong and that wasn't fair to her. The last thing I desired was to bring Terra down with me to the trenches of self-pity. So I did us both a favor and deleted the text.

When reaching the grand staircase, I quietly made my way down, avoiding the kitchen where sounds of clattering silverware and the smell of bacon emitted. I wasn't in the mood for breakfast these days. Instead, I preferred hiding in the study. Conveniently placed in the back corner of the house where no one would look for me. I slipped inside and locked the door behind me.