Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive!
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When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to di...
This time, we will not apologize for our outstanding ruse. To paraphrase a popular human phrase: Fool you once, shame on me. Fool you twice, shame of you.
Please return your "Running with Scissors: The Board Game" to the previously given address. You don't deserve it. It was very fun, too. Players got to play as one of the main characters are they run through America and answered trivia questions while avoiding death. Fun for the whole family. A shame you won't get to enjoy it.
Let us continue with the story. Try not to get bamboozled again.
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As both passenger and driver began to scream, the truck began to swerve left and right, making the statute smash against a particularly friendly mailman who had two weeks left until retirement.
Investigators later found out a stash of cocaine and several medieval weapons in his house, alongside a manifesto that read something about a New Crusade against Amazon Drones or something like that. It was a weird news day in Philadelphia. Several Pulitzer awards were won thanks to the events of that day.
Annoying stopped screaming as fast as she began, looking at Peter with her brown doe eyes. "What did I miss?" she said. "And where's Sneakolas Cage?"
"How are you even alive?" asked Peter, swerving to avoid an old woman who was walking in the middle of the road. She was still hit by the cascade of cop cars right behind him, but it was the thought that counted.
"I'm used to getting choked," she said. "By Sneakolas, mind you."
"Thanks for making the distinction," said Peter.
"But who knows," she said. "Buy me a drink, and we can talk."
"Jesus, kid. You're old enough to be my daughter!" said Peter.
"I'm 18!" she said. "I'm a woman! And who knows. You might be my daddy for all I know. I never knew my real daddy."
"Please, don't call me daddy," said Peter. "It's disturbing. And I don't care about your backstory. You're not even important enough to have a proper name."
"Are you sure you don't wanna know my backstory?" she asked. "It's a very cool one. It involves surviving in the wild by milking snakes and some shenanigans involving the IRS."
"Pretty sure," said Peter. And then there was silence, but not for long. "How do you even milk snakes?"
"Gently and with very warm hands," she said with a toothy smile.
He took a sharp turn, making the statue smash against a car so hard that it became encrusted within it, pulling it along. Now he had an even bigger flail. A "Level Up" tune played inside his head, but he quickly dismissed it.
Annoying rubbed her neck a few times while looking left and right. "What happened, anyway? Where are we?"
"Things went so south they hit Mexico," said Peter. "Which is where we might end up escaping if things get any worse."
