15 ; losing it

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july 11th

rebecca checked her phone and began freaking out because it was almost past 2am. we all got up from the floor and planned to walk her to her cabin. she was walking fast in front of grayson and i.

"wanna come back up with pillows and blankets?" grayson asked quietly

i nodded my head

"i still have the wine too" i smiled

we walked through the secret passage way and onto a elevator. once we got to rebecca's door she hugged me and slid her key in.

"see you tomorrow" she smiled

once the door shut grayson and i started walking to his room to grab pillows and blankets, then all the way back up to the helicopter landing.

we set the blankets and pillows down and grayson got under it. i sat next to him and opened the wine bottle. i took a gulp and passed it to him.

"this is by far my favorite night of this cruise" he said

"so far yes. maybe it will get better" i smiled

we kept drinking the bottle and played music.

we laid there stargazing and talking about everything that's happened so far and how fast it's going.

the wine was finished and we cuddled close to each other under the blanket in silence. it lasted so long i was sure he had fell asleep.

"you alive?" i laughed

"yes but the boat rocking and being this drunk is a lot" he explained which made me laugh harder.

it started to get cold, seeing as we were in the middle of the ocean at 3am.

"i'm so cold" i shivered

"wanna go back to my room?" he asked

i agreed and he pecked my lips before picking up all of our stuff. getting all the way to his room was hilarious because the both of us could barley walk.

we finally got to our destination and he threw his body into the bed. i turned off the main light and put the small lamp in the corner on. then i took out my speaker and played music quietly.

"come lay with me baby" he said with his sleepy voice. that's my weakness.

i got into the bed and he began to tickle me.

"stop!" i blurted out while laughing hard and trying to tickle him back.

he laughed and pulled me closer to his body

"i'm sad"

"why" he made eye contact with me

"we only have three days left, then you and everyone goes back to jersey and i go back to new york. i'll never see you guys" i said

"you'll only never see us if you don't try to see us. i don't care how many trains i gotta take to see you" he reassured me but deep down inside i knew great things like this don't work out for me

i started to tear up just thinking about it and he could tell.

he wiped the tear rolling down my check.

"i swear to god octavia i will see you again after this cruise" he said holding me my face.

he kissed me slowly

the longer we kept kissing the more it started to escalate. things started happening so quickly. before i knew it both of our clothes were coming off. first his shirt, then mine, then his pants, then mine. the kissing never stopped.

i was glad when i realized i was wearing my cutest bra and underwear.

soon our clothes were off and he was on top of me.

"are you sure you wanna do this?" he asked

it hit me that in this moment i was about to be agreeing to losing my virginity, but i felt ready and knew i would never regret this because of how great of a story it is. imagine losing your virginity in the middle of the atlantic ocean.

"yes i'm positive"

"okay, you ready?" he asked

i nodded my head and began kissing him as he entered me.

when we were done he fell next to me.

out of breath he said "well that just happened"

"told you this cruise would get better" i laughed

he cracked a smile and grabbed my face to kiss me.

i pulled the blanket over our body's and cuddled close to him. soon he was sound asleep so i got up to shut the lamp off. with my hand on the switch i watched him peacefully sleep. i smiled, i was glad i did it and don't regret it.

i shut it off and slid back into the bed

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