Heaps and Miles of Nyle's Written Files

MAY 8THHHHH

Not to sound overdramatic but my CIEs finally end tomorrow and it thus the year ends. It feels so weird that I won't be going to bed in anxiety anymore and I won't wake up regretting that I woke up. I can finally be at ease now that these embodiments of rooh afza+eggs are now going to finish.

When I look back at this year, it definitely feels like one of my most memorable years after g7. Grade 8 was simply hell for me and I truly wished to die back then. Everything in my personal life along with school stress was murdering me back then and I got a phase of terrible sadness and a lack of motivation to do anything. I completely gave up on doing homework and I'd sleep late and wake up early to finish 10 minutes of homework. It was that hard for me to do. I started to get dehydrated and as a result, it started to have a negative result on my lower back. I started to hate everything too but when I look back, there was some good in grade 8. Had a lot of fun on the rare occasions such things didn't come to me. Grade 7 was just way more iconic. Most of my best friends had joined that year and a lot of fun times were shared then. I look back at then and I still laugh at some of the things that happened then. O-1/ G9 was pretty banging. Many of the people who were just friends, I have become much more closer with and I wasn't feeling as terrible as I was the previous year. I've made many new friends as well and all of the teachers have been great. I think the summer break of last year and left me in isolation which was perfect for me. My memories of O-1 have been great. So much fun with all my friends and chilling behind the canteen with some of my friends, and making ridiculous jokes with my other friends. Now, I'm way more social, while also loving isolation. I speak to people for quite a while daily and I've become way less awkward and shy. I find myself speaking to other people more easily and I think as a result, it's granted me some great friends. People know me more and my sense of humour has improved by a lot if I do say so myself(I can make my business class laugh when I make a joke or do something quite consistently so stfu). Oh I still hate myself and wish someone had a way of making me think otherwise but I do have some good qualities which I lacked before while retaining my shit qualites like damaging procrastination and anger. I also have had some bad memories here too but they rarely come to mind. I have become good at ignoring this stuff.

Oh, and I've also created this rantbook(if it is that) that has been a great time killer. I hate having my emO chapteRS on this but I can't bother unpublishing them either. Sorry about that.