The Faded Spark | TID #1

Chapter 16

Abnormal heartbeats, deep breaths, butterflies in my stomach and a burning face.

Iyon ang nararamdaman ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. We weren't breaking our eye contact until I blinked twice. I gulped and tried to avoid his gaze by tilting my head, and my eyes dropped onto the ground.

I could barely hear his footsteps because of the grass, but I know he's walking towards me. Napalabi ako nang maramdaman kong tuluyan na siyang naupo sa aking tabi. Here goes my abnormal heartbeat, again.

I tried to steal a glance at him by my peripheral view. He's looking straight ahead with a squinted eyes. His face was in an orange hue and his eyes were sparkling in cognac brown due to the reflection of the sunset. Nahalata niya siguro ang paglilikot ng mga mata o ulo ko kaya napabaling sa akin ang tingn niya. I held my breath, I didn't expect that.

He smiled at me, "Please, don't feel awkward," he pleaded.

I heaved out a sigh. You know why you're feeling this way, Nausicaä. Don't be dumb. Sarkastiko akong napatawa sa sarili ko, ikain ko na naman ang salita ko.

I cleared my throat and bowed a bit, "I . . . I didn't feel awkward," I said while fiddling my fingers.

He must have sensed the hesitation on my voice so he completely turned on me, but, didn't say any word.

"I . . . I have this feeling. Weird feeling," I murmured.

Mas lalo siyang lumapit sa akin at saka hinawakan ang pisngi ko. My gaze went up to his face, I was captivated by his eyes but I was distracted when a sad smile crept on his lips.

"You don't have to force yourself, Nausicaä. If you're not su—"

I cut him off, "I think I have feelings for you, Zach," I said quickly while maintaining an eye contact with him.

Alam ko ang bilis. Ang bilis kong mahulog sa mga simpleng aksyon niya. But I can't deny that I like him. He's good and caring, ano ang hindi kagusto gusto roon? Argh! Ilang beses kong isiniksik sa utak ko na hindi, pero taliwas naman ang nararamdaman ko.

A tinge of red appeared on his ears, halata ang gulat sa mukha niya pero itinago niya iyon sa isang tikhim.

"Siguro nasabi mo lang iyan dahil recently ako ang madalas mong kasama," he smiled but it didn't reach through his eyes.

"I want you to be sure of your feelings for me, Nausicaa. Siguro, iyang nararamdaman mo para sa akin ay . . . wala naman talaga. Please . . . please don't fall in love when you are sad," he added while looking intently to my eyes.

Dahan-dahan akong napatango, "I-I know. C-crush lang naman," I stammered and tilted my head sideway.

He gently caressed my hair, I felt comfortable by that. I liked the way how he touch me. Its like, I am a porcelain doll that's he's afraid to be broken.

"Sana hindi mo ma-misunderstood. I like you. I really do. Masaya ako na marinig mula sa'yo na gusto mo rin ako, pero hindi kita minamadali. Baka nabigla ka lang, Nausicaa. And I don't want to take advantage of your feelings."

Mariin kong pinaglapat ang mga labi ko. Hindi ako nagsalita pero tumango ako bilang pagsang-ayon. Sandali kaming binalot ng katahimikan, huminto na rin siya sa paghaplos sa buhok ko pero hindi niya inalis ang kamay doon. Mukhang pinakikiramdaman ni Zach ang gagawin o sasabihin ko.

Napaisip naman ako, hindi ko maipagkakaila na may parte sa akin na gustong magsisi dahil sa sinabi ko. I admit, medyo nasaktan ako sa pag-reject niya sa feelings ko para sa kanya. I felt embarrass, at ayaw kong napapahiya ako. Gusto ko sanang bawiin ang sinabi ko kasi baka nga . . . baka nga nabigla lang ako.