The Faded Spark | TID #1

Chapter 9

"Yes, I am ZDL. I am Zachary Dale Lozano. I am the one who's sending you those notes and Tulips and yes . . . I am your admirer."

Although I am expecting him to say that, I'm still shocked and was, for a moment, lost for words. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin o ire-react ko sa sinabi niya.

Xander never did this to me. I mean confessing, that he once became my admirer. He never said that he liked me before he courted me. It just . . . happened. The courting stuff.

And now, there was this man, confessing to me.

Ano ang dapat kong sabihin? Gawin?

"I-I don't know . . . What to say," I admitted and bowed my head.

"I understand. You're still broken hearted. Masyado lang napaaga ang pag-amin ko. My fault," he said.

I looked up to him, "B-Bakit ako pa?"

"Bakit naman hindi ikaw, Nausicaa? You may not be the most beautiful in the world but in my eyes you are," he gulped and gently held my both hands.

I felt an electric shock pierced into my spine.

He looked at me, his eyes were so intensed, "You are my inspiration. I love how I feel whenever I see you, I can see my future with you. Everytime you smile, it makes me melt. This might be cheesy," he suddenly stopped and chuckled. "But you give me this kind of feeling—the pure bliss and boundless joy.

"You are the only one who can make me exprience those emotions, Nausicaa."

I was stunned. My heart fluttered and I could felt my face blushed. There was also a binge of red appeared on Zachary's ears.

Mas lalo akong walang masabi.
Nang mapropseso ko ang sinabi niya, kinuha ko pabalik ang kamay ko at tumikhim, "Y-You . . . You don't know w-what you are saying," I stammered.

Palihim ako napa-ungol sa inis. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong sinasabi ko! Bakit iyon pa ang lumabas sa bibig ko?

Embarrassed on what I'd said, I turned my back on him and started to walk away. Binilisan ko ang paglalakad ko para kung sakaling hahabulin niya ako ay hindi niya ako maaabutan.

What am I thinking? Why would I thought that he will chase after me?

Malapit na akong makalabas sa locker area nang muli kong marinig ang boses niya.

"I will wait, Nausicaa. I will wait for you."

Napahinto ako saglit at muling nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Shrugging off all of what he'd confessed.

And yes, hindi ko na nakuha ang mga drafting tools ko.

***

The cold breeze made me shivered in the thin cardigan I wore. I looked up seeing the blazing stars and the alloy-silver orb moon hanging in the peaceful night sky.
It was like, those twinkling stars seemed to be in their proper places.

It was mesmerizing.

"Ang ganda, 'no?"

My thoughts were halted as Alliah moved next to me.

"Yes, it is," I whispered.

Sandaling namayani ang katahimikan sa aming dalawa.

"Anong iniisip mo, Renae?"

I stared at her. She was looking up at the sky while her arms were resting on the railings of the veranda.

Lately, I wasn't open to her like I always do. Hindi ko na nasasabi kung ano ang nararamdaman ko at kung ano na ang mga naging kaganapan sa buhay ko.

Yes, we were living together but I felt like, there was an imaginary division that starting to build up between us. Which I wouldn't let to happen.

"Hmmm . . . I don't know what should I do, Alliah . . ."

I told her about Zachary and what happened earlier.

"I know I shouldn't make this a big deal but . . ." I am loss of words, again and always when it comes to him.

"Baka naman may nadedevelop ka ng feelings para sa kan'ya?"

Napaayos ako ng tayo, "No! Wala pang tatlong buwan mula nang magbreak kami ni Xander," I firmly said.

"And so? Not because it wasn't three months since you guys break up, doesn't mean that you are not capable to love, as well. But make sure that you are not using his feelings for you to cover your wounded heart. So tell me, do you like him?" she held both of my shoulders.

I looked down and bit my lower lip, "Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko ba siya o ano. Hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko talaga alam, Alliah."