The Burden of Knowledge (An Umbrella Academy/Number Five Fan-Fiction)

Chapter Eight: Big Guy and Stabby Boy

"Two masked intruders attacked the Academy last night, but according to your girlfriend, you already knew that."

"They came looking for you two." Diego added.

"Hazel and Cha-Cha." I clarified.

"Who?"

"You know, I hate code names."

"Well, that's all I can give you." I said. "I don't know as much as he does, as I only have the visions, but from what I've heard, they are the best, of the best, of a league of time travelling assassins, except for the two of us, apparently."

"You know, Mary always said she hated when I drink. She said it made me surly-"

"It does." I interrupted.

"Hey!" Diego shouted. "I need you two to focus, what do this Hazel and Cha-Cha want? We just want to protect you...both of you, I guess."

"Protect us." Five repeated. "We don't need your protection, Diego. Do you have any idea how many people we've killed?"

"Together, we are the four frickin' horsemen. The apocalypse is coming." And then, he leaned over, away from Luther, and threw up on the pavement. I shook my head.

"Keep talking, shorty." Diego said. I shot him a look.

"That's all I know."

"That can't be all you know."

"Yeah, well you try having thirty years of information funneled into your head at once and then see how well you figure things out." I shot back. "In case you forgot, stabby boy, I haven't actually lived through any of this yet. All I know is that we're trying to stop the apocalypse, they work for our old employer, and they want to kill us. He has lived through everything, so let him explain it." I looked up to ask Five to explain, but he was already unconscious again. I sighed. "I guess we wait until he's sober."

~~~

Diego took us to a back room in a boxing gym, which was apparently what was classified as 'his place'. Luther laid Five down on the bed, and I sat down on the edge of the bed beside him, pushing his hair out of his face.

"Funny. If I didn't know he was such a jerk, I'd say he looks almost adorable in his sleep." Diego said.

"Well don't worry. He'll sober up eventually, be back to his normal, unpleasant self."

"Such a loving family. You guys should be on the cover of a catalog." I said sarcastically. They both just stared at me, and I offered them a fake smile.

"I can't wait for him to wake up. I need to find out what their connection is with these lunatics before someone else dies." Diego decided. Suddenly, we heard footsteps outside and Diego held up a finger, before pulling a knife out of the desk he was standing in front of. He walked up the stairs, waiting until the feet stopped before opening the door and preparing to throw a knife.

"You throw another one of those gosh dang knives at me, I'm pressin' charges!" An old man yelled, causing Diego to relax.

"What do you want, Al?" Diego asked, opening the door all the way.

"I ain't your secretary."

"Yeah."

"Some lady called for you, said she needs your help."

"What lady?" Diego inquired.

"I dunno. Some uh, detective. I think she said her name was, uh, Blotch or somethin'."

"Patch?" Diego asked. "She needs my help."

"She needs you to meet her at that motel, a dump on Calhoun." Al handed him a slip of paper with an address written on it.

"When?"

"About half an hour ago. Uh, said she found your brother." Luther and Diego both looked at the unconscious Five as the man left.

"Well, that didn't make sense." We all figured it out at the same time, looking at each other.

"Klaus." We all said together.

"Mary, go with him." Luther told me.

"I'm not leaving Five-"

"I'm his brother, what danger do you think he's in?" Luther asked. "Go with Diego, see if you can jog your memory, figure anything out before Five wakes up." 

"You may be 'Number One' in your little superhero clan, but I think you're forgetting that i'm not one of you." I told him.

"You're wearing the uniform, aren't you?" He asked. I looked down, remembering that I was, in fact, wearing the Umbrella Academy uniform. 

"Just come on. We don't have time for this." Diego said, grabbing my arm and pulling me up the stairs. I sighed, rolling my eyes, but trailing after him anyway.