Stall

Chapter 104.

I finally get a good look at Steve who is standing next to Jimmy, but still just behind him and even thought it's not the moment my lips still crack into a smile.

He's stood there with a pastel yellow apron on with frills around the edges, that has large writing plastered on it that says 'Bake like a bad bitch'; with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder.

He notices my expression and looks to his apron, then to Jimmy with an accusing expression "He brought it for me as an anniversary present last year - don't ask"

I hold my hands up in surrender, pursing my lips to try and get rid of my smile and I must look like a lunatic with how fucked my face would look from crying, but I can't help smiling around these two.

Jimmy gets a smug look on his face, pointing to the apron "Yellow really is his colour don't you reckon?"

Steve just gets more annoyed, huffing and folding his large muscled arms over his large chest.

Jimmy looks back to me, reaching his hand out to swipe his thumb over my cheek where there was some moisture still and gives me a sympathetic smile "Why don't we go for a drive yeah peaches? You can tell me all about what happened - have the perfect place for take you"

I give him a small agreeing nod, swallowing down the tightening in my throat when the small moment of Steves apron is pushed away and my mind is flooded with my morning with Harry.

"Where's Ludo?" I ask, feeling bad that they've had him for the last two days but I also know that both of them would be relishing it, but I also just miss him terribly.

They spoil that bloody dog rotten.

Jimmy motions his head to the house next-door "He's on a date - really getting somewhere with that poodle I think it's gettin' serious. He'll be fine there till we get back."

I shake my head at Jimmy, raising my brows at him and knowing how much that would annoy Harry, simply because Harry specifically told him not to do that.

Jimmy raises his brows back at me, giving me a defiant look "Hey. I'm the cool uncle, and the cool uncle gets you bitches"

You know, Jimmy is making it really hard to be sad right now.

To be honest, it's helping - I needed something to take away some of the anguish and he's doing a great job of that.

"How about Ludo stays here for another day or two? Just till, you know - things calm down a bit. Dogs sense it you know, when things aren't right. Don't wanna upset him" Jimmy adds and then I'm straight back to feeling my heart splinter.

"Yeah... I think that's a good idea. Until I figure everything out..." I agree darting my eyes to the ground.

Christ it's like I'm on this screwed up merry go round of smiling to feeling my heart break repeatedly around this bloody man.

Just thinking of how confused Ludo would be... If I left, how much it would hurt me to leave him as well.

I can't take him away from Harry, that dog has become like his security blanket - he's okay without him for a few days max and then he's breaking his neck to see him.

Fuck this just keeps hurting worse and worse.

I know people say its just a dog, but that's not what Ludo is to us.

I feel like I'd be walking away from my family.

It may be dysfunctional, and it may be fucking nuts half the time but this little family we've made over these few months have become more irreplaceable to me than the relatives that I barely ever saw that were meant to be what I called family.