BUBBLEGUM

2) I'm Sorry, Friend.

Would we still be friends, even with who I have become?
Even if I had told you the truth you didn't want to hear, would we still be friends?
If I had shown how I truly felt about the way things were, would we still be friends?
If I had stopped pretending to be something I'm not, would we still be friends?
If I had given you just one of the many reasons I always doubted in myself, would we still be friends?

No.

That was always the conclusion I would draw.
You know why? Because I'm selfish.

Because I was afraid, afraid of the loneliness, afraid of the consequences. I was afraid of the fact that I had grown to attached, and I would miss those simple 2am moments that I held so dear in my heart, those moments where we could no longer control our laughter at something so stupid, but could also hold a deep and meaningful conversation.
I was afraid of losing those inside jokes and references, I was afraid of saying goodbye to all those remarks we'd always make about the other's love life, or more so lack of it.
I resented the fact that I had a true Best Friend in my life because I felt incapable of keeping up with such relations, especially when my whole world was falling apart.

If I had revealed that I'm not the person you wanted me to be, would we still be friends?

This is what I should have asked rather than be so cruel, rather than walking away without a reason, rather than giving up on my best friend for life, my soul sister.
But I didn't ask, I just let you down just like I knew I would, deep down inside.
I'm sorry, friend.
I should've done things differently, I should've looked back, to indicate that I always considered you before
myself.

But I didn't, and for that
I truly am more than just sorry, dear friend, for not a day has passed without me pondering on my mistakes.
I just wish I could tell you how much I really miss you.

You're still my Best Friend at heart,

I hope you remember that.