Another Life

another life 12

Chapter Twelve: Thursday 6:18pm

The phone call came through at 6:18pm exactly. I had been sitting on the settee with Parker watching some crap documentary about how the world would explode in 2020 when the home rang making me dislodge myself from under Parker's arm and get up to get it.

When I answered the woman on the other end was talking in a very calm soothing voice. Though the news she had to tell me was no where new calm or soothing it was far far from in.

Parker got the next door neighbour to take us to the hospital in his posh leather fitted convertible. He played music the whole way trying to start up convocation but I could not even begin to start t form words together at this point. It was too stupid and crazy to have this idea in my head. I blocked the world out and just stared at the back of the seat in front of me.

There was one loose thread in the man's perfect car that annoyed me. It was a different colour to the rest and stuck out like a sore thumb. I stared at that same thread the whole car journey waiting for the moment when I would have to get out and leave the comfort of this warm car to one of my greatest fears.

We Parker a little way away from the doors. I could hear Parker talking to the Man in the front seat as I got out and waited for him to as well. There was a rock on the ground that I started kicking back and forth back and forth and back again. The movement its self was awkward and stiff like a robots. For that was what I felt like at that moment. No emotion no feeling no words. Nothing.

Parker finally exited the car door to my right but I didn't notice straight away my mind was so concentrated on this rock under my foot. I had given up on trying to kick it and simple stood on it waiting for the faint crack as it crushed under my foot. The crash never came. I kicked the stone away. It was useless to me now what was the point in stupid stone anyhow?

I thought I heard Parker calling my name but I ignored it only looking up when he touched my arms gently and drifted forwards towards the hospitals glass doors. The glass in them were speared with finger prints. Thousands of them all from different people people coming here with hope and joy and some with no feeling at all. I concentrated on those people. The lucky ones.

I watched as person after person entered those doors. Injury after injury coming in and going out. There were no familiar faces from times that had past. Not that I could have remembered any of them. I only had one face in my mind and that face was taking up every thought I possessed. Every time I closed my eyes to blink the same face popped up staying with me even when my eyes were open.

I saw nothing of the inside of the hospital only that face. It blocked out any other image I may have seen. Only that face. We had reached the room the face herself occupied. Her head turned away hooked up to so many wires.

Parker had had to leave me to walk the hall alone. I could not feel more alone than I did now. Her frail body curled up on itself as the shakes of her heart beat shook her frame. The loud noise of her rapid breathing as she fault to stay there. And all I could do was sit there and wait.

Just be there. Waiting. In time she would wake up and in time she may not. The emotion had still not returned to my lifeless body as I continued to sit there waiting. Nothing changed. A few nurses came in to check on her breathing how could they not see how much pain she must be in. the face and arms turning black and blue from the impact. Her arm in a sling hanging lifeless at her side. The lines in her forehead were not the only give a ways. The nurses told me that her heart was not as strong as it had been that it could fail any second.

The clock ticked by second after second minute after minutes. No change. I stared at the same spot on the wall for hours. The cream paint was supposed to look comforting. Homely it looked anything but. They had missed one spot. One spot where the green paint was showing threw. The wall did not seem complete without it. I stared and stared as my vision became more and more blurry as I refused to blink unless there was no other choice.

Feeling was starting to come back to me by about hour four. I wish it wouldn't.

The pain of my heart braking yet again in two years was almost unbearable. Pieces of my heart were flying all around my body jabbing in were ever they could coursing more pain than I already had. Yet another member of my family had almost been taken from me. The pain this thought coursed me made me gasp. Huge welling tears started to spring from my eyes as the situation dawned on me. I could lose her. Really lose her.

I paid no attention to the wall I had been staring at for the whole time I had been sitting in this chair. I took no notice of the welling tears trickling down my face as I looked at my Mother laying there. She looked so cold and hurt on that bed with the hospital gown tiding her bruised and broken body.

I started tucking the sheets around her more tightly in some hope that it would warm her. The sheets were so thin and stiff under my fingers that it was a wonder it even protected her one little bit. She was still curled around herself. Protecting herself from the outside world that would come to harm her. She looked so old laying there on those white sheets stained with her blood. She had been so happy the last time I had seen her this morning. Happy to be getting back to the way we had used to be. The pain started to jab at my heart again coursing me to gasp with the pain.

The pain was a good thing it meant I didn't have to think didn't have to consider that fact that my mother's life might end right here. Right now.

I started to star again. Just stare. Nothing in this room meant anything to me apart from the woman on the bed who's breathing kept picking up coursing panic to rush threw my vain and then slowing back down. The floors in this room was hard and cold. I could feeling it radiating up from my feet and through my legs.

I could hear the commotion outside this ward as yet another person is lost to this place. There are some people that just cannot be saved that's what Mum had told me after Dad had died. Now she was in that very same position.

Her heart stopped beating free hours later. all the beepers in the room started going off on red alert and within seconds the room was flooded with people nurses doctors and even some doctors in training. The room was on high alert as my Mother took her last breath and her whole body just seemed to give up. Caving in on itself.

Meanwhile all I could think was that this was not happening. That this could not be happening. It was not fair how quickly someone's life could just be snatched away from them without a second glance. I was not human to just leave a woman lying by the side of the road after you have just hit her with your car. How could someone even do this. It coursed anger to seep from my body as they wheeled the machine that was my Mum's only chance at life nearer to her. They ushered me out of the room telling me to wait there. They would do everything they could to save my Mum. But there best was not good enough for my Mum died on that bed. Lying there alone and cold. Never to see anything again.

Nothing after that makes any sense to me. It all went in a blur. From the moment they came out and told me it was over to the moment I got home. You asked me how I had made it there I would have given you the honest answer of 'I don't know'. Somehow Parker had gotten to me as I walked out of there and guided me home.

I had fallen asleep on the settee with Parker's arms around me hugging me to him. We hadn't said a word to each other since he got me away from the hospital but it didn't matter. It didn't feel like anything mattered. My emotions had gone once more and I was once again a robot.