Feeling and Thought of Him

Same Person, Same Cycle

School started at 100 pm until 600 pm, with that meant I had free morning-time. I spent some minutes to have chat with him. He and I were going fine. Having words on social media, Line or sometimes BBM, was our daily activities. Throwing jokes to each other. He had once given me a bunch of snacks for me (I mean my team) winning a competition. Giving glances to each other in every opportunities. Yada yada yada. Happy happy happy.

I hurt him. He hurt me. So, we hurt each other and started a new page. None of us wanted to bring those hurting-each other- topics. Both of us pretended we were just two strangers who hadn't been in each other's pasts. We were just those two students who had their high school love-stories. Yet we were still us. We were still us in the past; we were only the soon-couple-to-be. Replayed the same movie, the same cycle.

I waited. He never told his feeling. His truly feeling. Did I have to tell him first? As a girl who had no experience about this story, nope, not going to be happened.

I waited. He stepped. He tried.

We were playing the same movie, rewinding the same scenes. Although this time I was admitting my feeling and giving permission for my heart to enjoy the feeling and dance freely, I was still the same artist; acting as I had nothing with him. I was a great cold-hearted artist on the outside.

I waited. He stepped. He tried.

I am still here with the same feeling towards the same person.

That's what I wrote one time and I was also still the same artist.

I actually didn't understand myself that time. Was I paid for acting that character? I didn't understand me and so I kept writing the same 2013's story.

We were still in the same movie, same cycle.