The Art Of Loving Lia

the one with the blood

With a huff I scrubbed and scrubbed until the small splatters of blood disappeared from the wooden floor in my living room. A burning sensation took place in my right arm as I scrubbed harder and harder for every second that passed. Tints of red still stained the floor even after I had scrubbed for ten minutes, and if I looked closer I could see even older stains that won't go away. I wanted to shut my eyes, but the image of my father throwing several glass bottles at me was clear as dawn and shutting my eyes would do nothing but harm. I lifted my left hand and pressed it against my temple, where blood still poured from a small gash. 

"You are disgusting, stupid little girl." I shook my head to try and remove the memories from earlier tonight, but it only caused me to feel a stabbing pain throughout my whole head. This day hadn't supposed to go like this. The guilt I had felt from going to Nathaniel's party and leaving my parents at home, had become so overwhelming that I skipped school for three days just to be at home. It had been wrong of me to leave the only people I had, without them I was nothing. I had cooked, cleaned and payed bills with the money my father had inherited from his dad. But I had still gotten a glass bottle thrown at me, each piece of glass had cut into my skin with the same pain as their words left in my soul. 

"Don't cry." I whispered to myself when the familiar feeling of sadness ached in my chest. I wish I could make my feelings disappear with the ease of blowing out a candle, oh how lovely that would be. To not feel anything at all. 

A hard knock on the door made me scramble to my feet and try to wipe the blood of my face, with not much luck. My parents weren't home, their presence would be found in our local bar and surely the wouldn't knock if the wanted to come in. With careful steps I moved to the door and opened it just a little bit, enough for me to see that it was Nathaniel standing outside my door.

"Oh Cordelia, I'm sorry for interrupting but I didn't have your number and you have missed our lessons three days in a ro-. Are you bleeding?" Before I had the chance to close the door, he put his hand on it and pushed it wider open. Her surveyed my face with a concerned look covering his features.

"You shouldn't be here." I said and he flinched at the tone of my voice. "But I felt like had to check up on you, if I only could get your number then maybe I-." I stopped him with a wave of my hand "Angel boy, I don't have a phone." For a minute he looked utterly flabbergasted and I almost snarled at him. Not everybody had the privilege of living in a mansion and having a phone.

"Oh I see, at least let me help you?" He gave me a small smile but I just shook my head at him, making it hurt even more.

"Please don't, I have no use of your help." His smile disappeared into a thin line and he narrowed his chocolate colored eyes at me. "Nathaniel don't come here again, we're not friends and I don't want your help. I will come to our lesson tomorrow." Before he had the chance to say anything else, I shut the door close in his face. I sunk down the floor and put my head in my hands, guilt stabbed in my chest and I gasped loudly.

"He shouldn't have come here, you don't belong in his world." I whispered to reassure myself and tried to get rid of the overwhelming feeling of guilt. Nathaniel was nice, to nice even, but he shouldn't be around someone like me. All I would ever bring to our friendship meeting would be a bag filled with troubles.

A small sigh left my chapped lips before I made my way into the bathroom and started to clean up the bloodied mess, that was my face.