Ch. 31 • Forgive me, please?

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Jackson, MS. March 1944
Friday 1:23 pm

Deen

"I missed you."

I smiled as Paislee wrapped her arms around my neck tightly and peppered kisses along the side of my face gently. It had been weeks since I had seen her and all there was were phone calls to keep us in touch. The strain of being with someone that was practically forbidden was taking a toll of us.

"Did you now?" I smirked.

"Don't give me that look. Just be quiet."

"Yes ma'am," I whistled playfully as she tried to escape from my arms.

When she finally pulled my hands from her hips, she fell down onto the couch behind her. Looking around her family's house I heard her sigh.

"I said we couldn't do this again but look what I'm doing again," she said.

Today was a designated day off from school and that called for nothing better than for us to get together. Her parents gone to work and her twin sisters off with friends. It was something called a play-date but I didn't know.

"Look, your parents are gone for hours and so are your sisters. Don't worry about what could
happen—"

"Which is a lot of things," she intruded.

"You worry too much, sweetheart. We go through this same conversation every time and if I'm being honest, it's getting repetitive."

"Sorry." 

I kissed her shortly before resting my head against her temple. It was quiet while I played with her fingers—something out of habit.

"Baby?" I spoke.

"Mhm."

Sighing, I released her hand and sat up. "Are you—How do you feel? Like, are you alright emotionally?"

The question had been lingering in my mind lately as I thought back to our relations. How could two people, who were opposites, fall for each other so easily over a span of four months? Nothing like this was heard of where we lived, yet it was happening here and now. I couldn't imagine it being different though. So many things had tested the two of us.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be? Why are you asking?" She questioned.

"I don't want to bring up bad memories, but I've been thinking about everything. You in particular because I always think about you but I don't know. . ."

"I mean I'm fine. I'm happy and everything has been going pretty smooth."

"C'mere."

She chuckled. "Deen no—"

I pulled her over onto my lap quickly before she could protest against it. This wasn't one of my silly questions for her. This was real, genuine concern that couldn't be helped until she looked me in my eyes.

"I don't want to bring up this up but I'm going to." Paislee nodded slowly. I could see the wonder floating in her eyes. "I was thinking recently. The night at Dylan's house—that horrible day. . . . You never said anything, you never confided in me. You just went through it like nothing happened and when I was thinking back to it, I didn't even notice."

"I've chosen to forget about it. I don't want to think about anything, I just want to forget." Her words were choppy and separated.

"That's the thing, Lee. It's not healthy to bottle up all of these feelings. It's not healthy to fake smile and laugh to cover up the hurt. Talk to me. So I'm asking because I care. Are you really and genuinely okay?"

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