Hidden In Our Gaze(BTS JJK)

i

You stood by the gates and kept bouncing on your heels. Like a kid waiting desperately for her favourite icecream.

Was he coming?

You began to fidget with your fingers. Guess the desperation was getting out of hand.

Maybe he wasn't coming. It wasn't like him to be late anyway. You felt cold at the thought but you shrugged it off. He had never once missed such ocassions.
Maybe he's stuck in traffic or is having car trouble. All of those excuses sounded stupid, but it was better to be hopeful so you held onto them like a lifeline. Like fool.

You turned around and with a deep sigh, headed back inside the building. The sudden sound of tires screeching stained the silence and then, you saw it, his favourite black suit. And that's when you saw the familiar red string on his veiny hands. You looked up and automatically smiled.

Finally, you'd seen him. You've waited for the end of the year party that your parents throw every year. You had eagerly waited so you could see him.

Jeon Jungkook.

The main character in all your fantastic, almost unrealistic dreams. He was looking hot in his black suit and he was actually way out of your league, but that didn't stop you.

You strolled over to him and smiled up at him.

"h-hello Jungkookie.... "

"well, hello y/n, you look...", he paused as his eyes scanned your face and body ".... beautiful"

Your face heated up a little at the compliment.

And he smiled again. A smile full of encouragement, a smile that made you feel giddy all over. You didn't waste any more time.
You had promised yourself that tonight was it. You would make sure you have your first kiss. And now that your victim was here, there was no need whatsoever to wait any longer.

"there's something I want to show you", you whispered shyly to him. An eyebrow shot up deftly as he glanced down at your hand, clasped around his hesistantly.

"really? ", he asked, amusement dancing in his eyes.

You took a deep breath and did the bravest thing you could think of, you grabbed his hand boldly and led him towards the rooftop.

By doing that, you had successfully completed the first part of the plan.

It was the second part you were afraid of. The thought of it made you extremely nervous.

How do you initiate a kiss?. How did he like his kisses?. Soft and slow?. Hard and demanding? More tongue?. Less tongue?

This was a bad idea.

Would he even kiss you back? What if he doesn't?. That would be so embarrassingly suicidal.

All these thoughts consumed your mind and you began to slightly regret your crazy plan.

Maybe you should ask him if he wanted to kiss you? That would be childish and probably ineffective.

What if you pretend to trip and accidentally grab his collar?.

You could try that seductive trick you learnt on TV about biting your lip. You'd spent all week practicing it and yet, when you'd tried that yesterday, you had unceremoniously bitten a little too deep and succeeded in bruising your bottom lip. It would be weird if Jungkook suddenly saw your lip bleeding.

seriously... there was nothing left to do. This plan was a stupid one from the beginning. You bit your fingernails in nervousness when you caught Jungkook staring at you. That was your cue to chicken out of this ridiculous plan.

"the stars are beautiful tonight right? ", you asked instead, as you tried to brighten the tense atmosphere.

"yes so beautiful", he said while staring into your eyes. Jungkook had caught you biting your lip several times. You seemed to be battling about something with yourself. You'd frowned, then gritted your teeth, scratched your nose and tapped your index finger on your lip all in one minute. He would have asked if there was something bothering you but you didn't look like you wanted to talk.

Being alone on the rooftop wasn't helping his hormones either as he stared at your lips. He had the instinct to grab you and kiss the living daylights out of you but he worried that you may be overwhelmed if he suddenly did that.

Jungkook frowned inwardly as he fought his inner turmoil. He was supposed to have control over his own damned hormones so what in the world was happening now?

You turned to find a deep frown on his face. Before you could ask what he was thinking, you felt his soft lips on yours. They glided slowly over yours in a slow kiss. His hands found the back of your head and he deepened the kiss. Jungkook devoured your lip and you enjoyed every second of it. When he broke the kiss, you stared at his swollen lips in a daze as you tried to process everything. He was so close and his lips were mere inches from yours. The only thing that registered in your addled brain was one fact.

Your. first. kiss. Was. Jeon. Jungkook.

Suddenly, he took a step back and rubbed his face.
"I'm sorry, you're under age. I shouldn't be taking advantage of you like this . Fuck! ", he cussed.

You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. It was like you were still in a daze or lie your tongue had tied itself up. You wanted to tell him that you'd liked every bit of it, that you had planned this from the beginning anyway, that he wasn't taking advantage of you but you couldn't bring yourself to say a darned word.

And just like that, he walked away from you.

That was how Jungkook ruined your sweet sixteen birthday party.

Since, then no matter how hard you tried he wouldn't even look at you. He barely talked to you and ignored you all the time. Since then, Jungkook always made sure he came to your parties with a date. He messed around and kissed girls right in front of you. It was almost as if he was rubbing it into your face that you were a kid.

No matter what you did you couldn't get beyond that barrier and the huge crush you had on him either.

So on your eighteen birthday and the next two birthdays, you'd tried to seduce him. Well it didn't end well because he'd pushed you away and left with his super model chick.

From then, you'd stopped crying over Jeon Jungkook. And you'd vowed that you'd make him yours, at all costs -
but minus the tears.

Flashback
You're 15, roaming around a big house because you're bored. Jungkook, your best friend had promised to come play with you during the weekend but he hadn't showed. You missed him, not just because he was your best friend, but because you had other special feelings for him.

At the moment, you were doing your homework when you heard voices downstairs. Being a little mischievous and curious, you tiptoed down. You peeked through the slightly open door to your father's home office room. There were 3 people present

Jungkookie, Jungkookie's father and your dad.

It seemed like they were arguing about something but Jungkook was just glancing around.
"listen, I know I gave you my word but I can't keep it ", Jungkook's father said.
Your dad glanced at him.
"I don't want my son to be saddled with the burden of a marriage of convenience, that is why I agreed"
Just then, as if on cue, Jungkook glanced at the door. His eyes met your peeking ones and he frowned.