YA1 || ❝To finding love in your arms everyone morning as I wake up, your eyes meeting my own in a pool of never ending depth. A depth I was willing to test in this life and the next, even if that meant drowning in the swirls of your scent.❞
This boo...
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The lights flickers upon the ceiling and it's all my attention absorbs.
Flick. Flick. Flick.
It fits rhythmically well with the droning of my thoughts.
Three days away.
Three days.
Where did all those months fly by? All those tomorrows, all those forevers? Wasn't it just yesterday you'd taken me out to that awkward dinner before it turned into an affair of a lifetime?
And yet it's long since this stopped feeling like dream.
For the longest time since we happened, you felt surreal. Too good to be true. To idealistic to exist in reality because let's be honest, since when could guys really handle the storms of a relationship with such finesse?
But you proved me wrong every single time. You taught me that it was okay to be a force of fire and strength. That being strong and independent didn't have to mean that I was broken or unlovable. That being so emotionally expression didn't mean I was naïve or unbalanced. That being so madly in love didn't mean that I'd lost my faculties.
You made me believe in partnerships. In sharing. In caring. In loving. In believing. In being.
You made me believe.
You sleep beside me soundly and now my attention is finally drawn towards your gentle snores. And all I can do is stare. Stare at the fortunes of my life, my most prized possession.
I let my fingers gently caress your hair until they draw to a close near your temple and I let my thumbs work soft circles, careful enough to not wake you up.
In the flicker of the night, I watch you sleep peacefully. With a smile on your face. A smile that I'd brought on.
The thought makes my heart sing.
Eight years was a long time indeed. A lot of our friends often tell us that we have a fairytale story - no major fight, no major twist, no break-up, no ego clashes. It's been too smooth.
We always smile.
Novels are often inspired from life but life isn't inspired from novels.
When we became friends, somewhere deep down we always saw each other in a capacity beyond that. Atleast I did, truthfully. As years went by, I let myself believe that perhaps friendship was the best course between us. Not because I stopped loving you but because I was too afraid to lose you.
I was willing to settle.
But destiny had its way. When you moved to London and things warmed up between us, there were months ahead where I spent pondering upon the kind of future we had. I could always see one, but it made me wonder nonetheless.
Perhaps when you've waited your entire life for something and find your wish fulfilled only too perfectly, it scares you. I think it did me too.
But in those moments, you understood. You knew that time and patience were the only two factors that'd eventually prove against all odds that we were meant to be.
Not just for now. Forever.
It was your confidence that gave me the confidence to pursue this even though it was something I'd wanted for longer than I could remember. When you ask for something for so long and you do get it, you don't necessarily value it with the same reverence.
Sometimes you take it for granted.
And perhaps I had too for a while before your accident. It still gives me shudders to think how close it had been, the thought enough to still steal my breath and snatch any last remnant of sleep wanting to claim me.
But you are breathing and alive beside me and nothing matters beyond that. You gently nestle your head within my fingers as though in telepathic comfort and I smile in spite of myself.
It's not been easy for you.
You've perhaps had the right roughest years of your life - losing your parents, being in a horrible relationship, changing countries, being in a near fatal accident and having to be in a challenging relationship.
I don't say challenging in any way to demean myself. You've taught me better than that.
No, when I say challenging, I mean just how well you've handled the constant changing dynamics of our relationship. Not just emotionally, but even professionally.
Nobody knows how hard it's been on you when I've had to travel on tours round the clock for 10 months. Nobody knows how hard it's been on you when we've gone for 3 months without seeing each other, much less even talk because we had conflicting time zones and commitments.
Nobody knows how hard it's been on you to support my career when yours needed your fullest attention and you've tried best to sail both boats.
Nobody knows how hard it's been because you've never let it look hard.
But I know.
That's always how you've been - putting yourself on the line for others over and over again. You've never complained or been demanding and perhaps were the only one who supported my decision to switch careers at the juncture in life where every day can make a difference.
But you've been my rock. You've never let anything stand in my way, not even yourself when the time came for me to fly. Few men have the ability to be so giving.
And somewhere in between giving me your everything to being my everything, I caught you.
I caught your broken pieces and pulled you into my arms hard enough to stick them right back on.
In these eight years, I may have not been the best girlfriend (far from a perfect one), but I know that I saved you just fine.
And when we walk towards our forever three days later, I know that I can look you in the eyes during our vows and cross upon my heart that every single word I say is true.
