Foolish Fantasy: The Misconception of Rom-Coms

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             Everyone adores the euphoric feeling of being in love

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             Everyone adores the euphoric feeling of being in love. People are also fond of laughter; romantic comedy consists of these two factors. The charming genre intrigues the audience by using light-hearted humor to portray love on screen in a passionate way. Many females enjoy watching rom-coms for numerous reasons. Specifically, to relieve stress and for entertainment value. Romantic comedies usually depict perfect couples with happy endings, which most women idolize. Is it unhealthy to desire the idealistic relationship that this mesmerizing genre displays? Are there effects? Romantic comedies appear to have negative effects on women's beliefs and their relationships due to the genre's unrealistic characters, love expectations, and glorification of toxic relationships.

The unrealistic characters and situations in romantic comedies mislead viewers into believing their partner should look and be a certain way. The cast members in these movies are usually attractive. Their prepossessing face, fit body, nice hair, youthful clear skin, and bright white smile make them perfect. Not only are their physical traits seductive, but their character traits are as well. The actors are usually portrayed as charismatic and affectionate men. The men are shown in a positive light as they shower their significant other with thoughtful gifts, pretty flowers, hugs, and kisses. They are also protective and would do anything to make sure their lover is safe and happy. They make their feelings clear and show their love both physically and emotionally. Edward from the film Pretty Woman is a prime example of a bountiful man. He falls in love with a prostitute named Vivian and provides her with the financial and emotional stability she has never had. Women desire a lavish man that can offer them a secure, luxurious life. Although Noah Calhoun in The Notebook was not wealthy like Edward, he is also the epitome of a "perfect" guy. Calhoun is a generous character that wrote 365 letters to Allie expressing his love. Many females admire these characters and expect their mate to be like them. However, no one is that perfect and everyone has flaws. Many men are the opposite of Edward and Noah. Some are callous, unscrupulous, selfish, and unfaithful. Disappointment soon replaces infatuation when women are faced with reality. The deceiving character roles and relationships can have mental effects on female viewers as it leaves many in dismay.

Frequent viewers of romantic comedies tend to have quixotic love expectations in their relations. Movies like The Notebook makes them presume every relationship is promised a happy ending and bound to last forever. Unfortunately, this credulous way of thinking is delusive. Sometimes relationships lose their spark and people fall out of love. Dr. Peter Stromberg, Tulsa University professor of Anthropology, believes that modern "long-term relationships are quite unstable compared to 50 years ago", statistics show that "divorce rates today are roughly twice what they were half a century ago", romantic comedies fail to show the serious aspects that come with love affairs—drama, arguments, hardships, and financial stability. Couples may have different standpoints on their approach with life and love. Overtime, these differences can bring a once infatuating connection to an end.

Countless romantic comedies are guilty of glorifying toxic relationships. Influential movie couples from classic films such as Noah and Allie from The Notebook, Harley Quinn and The Joker in Suicide Squad, and Monica and Quincy from Love and Basketball are examples of unhealthy relationships. Throughout the Notebook, Allie is seen raging out on Noah, using both physical force and harmful words to destroy him. Her belligerence is overlooked by many viewers, because she is a woman. Men are just as prone to abuse in relationships as women. However, female victims are taken more seriously in society. Male victims are sometimes emasculated in these situations. According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, "1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%)" in the U.S, "have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime." Domestic abuse should not be tolerated by either gender. The popular movie also promotes infidelity. Allie cheated on her fiancé and left him for her lover Noah. Many viewers supported Allie's inconsiderate actions and saw nothing wrong with them. Harley Quinn was blinded by love and failed to recognize the psychopathic Joker's exploitation. He manipulated her into doing his dirty work, which turned her into a monstrous villain. Throughout the comic franchise, he physically and mentally tortured her. In the film Suicide Squad, there is a scene that shows the Joker treating Harley like property and selling her to a gangster. Many comic fans find their toxic relationship comical and romanticize about it. Quincy from Love and Basketball cheated on his high school sweetheart Monica, when she refused to miss her college dorm curfew one night. He wanted her to choose him over her basketball career. In a healthy relationship, nobody would be forced to choose between the two. These fictional couples are promoting infidelity, abuse, and toxicity. Romantic comedies send a negative message to both men and women. Author Sara Coughlin proposes, "the willingness to consider the threatening behavior in fiction as romantic may cause one to take real life instances of aggression less seriously," toxic relationships should be avoided not encouraged. Women that admire these couple relationships are more likely to accept that kind of bad behavior from their partners.

Romantic comedies deceive females by portraying a fanciful story. The genre fails to show the realistic and negative features of relationships. It also deludes women by making negative behavior acceptable. Although romantic comedies are compelling, women should not compare their relationships and partners to them. Comparing them is unhealthy and will only bring conflict into the relationship. Their partner may start to feel unappreciated and undesirable. They will also feel pressured to fulfill their women's unrealistic desires. When these expectations cannot be met, their partner may give up on the relationship entirely and find someone that does cherish their qualities. In order to prevent romantic comedies from hindering relationships, viewers should be more mindful of the influences the genre can have on their beliefs.

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