Chapter 99.

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"Don't ask me
What you know is true
Don't have to tell you
I love your precious heart"

A/N: Sorry for the hold up my guys, life's been screwing up my workflow lately, but in between writing I put together a Stall inspired tattoo flash sheet I drew that I thought you guys might get a kick out of.

So here you go -

So here you go -

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***

Everything that's happened in these last 6 months, every disastrous low and euphoric high there has been feel like shallow puddle compared to the ocean of him I've just dropped in with how I feel right now.

It's that overwhelming sensation, the deeper you go the higher the pressure from the water around you builds; and right now I'm happy to just sink to the bottom - never come back up and let him crush me.

That last barrier I felt there with Harry, those feelings I kept tucked inside; scared of what would happen if I ever said them out loud has been completely shattered.

Part of me thought it would push him away from me, if I let that guard down - that he just wouldn't be able to comprehend it, and he would run out of fear. We always fear what we don't understand.

I realise now though, we were both just standing on either side of that wall; pounding on it just to get to each other, trying to find our own ways around it.

Feeling how much emotion and passion is behind his kiss, makes me think he's always been able to love - he was just never shown how to communicate it.

I truly think he always wanted love but never knew it because how could he want something he's never truly experienced properly? I think he just convinced himself he wasn't capable of receiving or giving it.

Which makes sense, it's far easier to accept that than the alternate reality he had - that people chose not to love you, that you weren't worth loving to them so they never showed it to you.

They tortured you instead.

But I want to show him love and I mean true love, genuine love. A healthy love.

One that isn't selfish, or judgemental - one that wants to give and not take, that's patient; one that loves him for who is and believes in who he could be.

I guess for him the idea of love in the past would have been like craving for a food you'd never tasted.

I want to give him more than a taste though; I want him to feast on it, be decadent and experience all its different flavours until its so ingrained in his pallette he could describe it endlessly.

I'm completely hopeless for him, but have all the hope in him in the world.

He's come so far - and I'm so over the moon that the steps he's taking have brought him closer to me and not lead him away.

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