All Of Me | Camren

five

Sorry it's late! I'd say I took Easter off but tbh I forgot to write this 😂 😬
—

He doesn't know how he got here, staring up at the blazing sun as it glints on the metal roof of some one-story building he's never seen before with a semi-deflated basketball in his hands, but he thinks he knows who to blame. Still, there's no use fretting over whereabouts when he's got a game to win.

He bounces the ball against the gravelly concrete, though it only returns halfway to his hand. He bounces it again, using more force than necessary, and turns his gaze up to the net. He aims to shoot— but is interrupted by a call from across the court.

"Yo, Shawn, why's there a girl playing?"

With a small scoff, he regards the group of boys standing near the gates, hands on their foreheads to shield their eyes from the sun. He tries to hold back, recalling what he's constantly being told about his moods, but soon his defensive nature takes hold. Tucking the ball under her arm, he takes a step toward the group with his head tipped up.

"You got a problem?"

"Leave them, Jamie," The brown-haired boy he'd been playing with says as he tries to swipe the ball from beneath his arm. He dodges, however, and the boy huffs and steps back.

"Yeah, we do have a problem," the owner of the voice that'd yelled across the court, a man old enough to have patchy stubble covering his chin, steps forward until they're separated by just a few feet, and spits, "Girls aren't allowed to play with us."

It's not the first time Jamie's been mistaken for a girl, what with his predicament. Still, they have no right to be talking to him in such a tone, and he steps closer, frustrated when he's shorter than the other man.

"Look, I don't know why you fools think you own this place, but let's make a deal. How 'bout if I prove I can play, you'll leave me alone?"

They laugh but agree. Thus, the competition begins. It takes a moment for teams to be decided, but Jamie's the one to suggest going solo against the others. The rules are simple: the first to 10 stays on the court. The boys are confident they'll win, but Jamie knows how to deal with those who underestimate him and is soon running rings around them. He's spent his whole life being underestimated because of what others see him as, after all. Usually, he'd let it go, as Cece constantly demands of him. Not today, though. Today, he's showing his true colours. Today, he isn't hiding behind a name that isn't his own.

He takes his aim for the final shot, a three-pointer that'll win him the game.

"Cabello!" Someone yells, once again interrupting his shot. This time, the ball is snapped away when he turns toward the stranger who used the very name he was trying to escape, "Get over here!"

He knows better than to mess with those dressed in blue, even if they are scrubs, so he takes one last look to the net, watches as they miss yet another shot, and sighs before jogging over to the woman with blonde hair pulled into a tight ponytail.

"Suicide watch isn't a joke, Camila," the woman hisses as she leads him inside, making him cringe, "When you break the rules of Watch, you're punished and they become stricter. We can't risk you hurting yourself."

He brings a hand to his head, trying desperately to keep ahold of himself, but the lady keeps spewing words he doesn't want to hear.

"You can't break the rules, Camila," She continues, "Or you'll end up staying for longer. You understand, don't you?"

"Who are you?" He manages his strain out, feeling himself begin to slip away.

The woman pauses, turns to face him with a frown, and simply returns, "You're not Camila, are you?"

...

When Camila returns, she's in a room she doesn't recognise. The walls are a light grey and decorated with various photos in frames. Beneath her feet is a soft, white rug. In front of her, a blonde woman sits behind a desk, watching her with an odd curiosity in her eyes. A nameplate upon the wooden surface reads 'Dr. Kiyoko', and she knows she's in trouble.

Billie says the only time a patient sees Dr. Kiyoko without warning is when they've done something nobody else can handle; not the nurses, not even Dr. Reed. Knowing what often happens when she blacks out and remembering the state she'd left Lauren in last time, the first thing she utters is, "I'm so sorry."

The doctor tilts her head slightly, questioning, "What for?"

Camila fights the tears that already well in her eyes. Discipline has always made her nervous, the thought of disappointing people even more so. In sixth grade, she'd missed her name in roll call and, after realising her teacher had to call it five times, she cried so harshly, she had to go home. Going back the next day had been so embarrassing, she'd blocked it from her memory.

"I-" Camila pauses. Had she done anything? Had she hurt anyone? Was this doctor just playing games with her? No, doctors can be trusted. She must've done something or else she wouldn't be here, but it can't have been as severe as she'd imagined. "I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry."

Dr. Kiyoko nods, shuffles a few papers around, and glances up at Camila once more before making a note of something.

"What are you writing?" Camila blurts, sitting up taller to try and take a peak.

"You didn't hurt anyone, if that's what you are worried about," Dr. Kiyoko says, bringing a relieved sigh from Camila until she hears the "But,"

"But what? What did I do? I didn't mean to, I promise."

"You broke some rules. You played basketball, but you're not allowed to make contact with other patients. Do you know what this means?"

Camila's mind reels. She has no memory of even touching a basketball in the last three years. The last time she played basketball was in P.E. class in freshman year and she had no intention of returning to the sport. She shakes her head slowly, trying to make sense of everything. God, she hates how she feels after blacking out. A headache almost always lingers, and everything seems unreal. She isn't sure what's true.

"We're going to separate you from the others for a day. You can return to your room tomorrow and follow regular scheduling, but for today I'm going to keep you under surveillance to ensure no harm will be done to you either by yourself or others. Camila- it is Camila, right?"

She nods, brows twitching inwards as she makes eye contact with the woman.

"Your previous psychiatrist sent me a list of suspected disorders. I think I may have singled a few out. Some will require more specific testing than what has been run already, but the more we do, the sooner we'll have a diagnosis."